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The Biggest Critiques of My Campaign and My Responses

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Broke-Ass-Stuart-kqed

Pretend this is me responding to criticism. Photo from Ericka Cruz Guevarra/KQED

The internet is full of people who talk shit. Most of them have no sense of humor. I do, so these are my responses.

Critique: “What a fucking hipster”

My Response: I was a hipster way before it was cool, bro.

broke-ass-stuart-hipster

OMG! He’s such a hipster!

Critique: “Why haven’t you put out a platform yet?”

My Response: I actually have, I’m just not doing it all in one place or at one time. I’ve put out pieces about human poop, corruption, affordable housing, homelessness, legacy businesses, and of course more poop.  My campaign is about bringing this city’s real problems to light, the problems that city hall doesnt want you to talk about, the corruption that has taken control out of the hands of citizens and placed it in the hands of corporate interest and greedy politicians.

 

Critique: “He has no political experience. How can he be mayor?”

My Response: Having experience in crooked-ass SF politics should actually preclude you from being mayor. Plus, Ed Lee has been in politics for almost his entire career and look what great job he’s done.

joker-MayorLee

The joke is on you San Francisco. Photo from Westside Observer

 

Critique: “I would never vote for someone who wears a fedora.”

My Response: I bet your grandfather wore a fedora and he was probably a badass.

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Critique: “He uses too many foul words. People who swear that much shouldn’t be mayor”

My Response: Fuck you.

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My 2nd Response:  If all you can hear is the “bad words” I’m saying then you’re paying attention to the wrong shit. It’s like I’m pointing to a meteor shower and you only focus on my finger.

 

Got anything else you wanna complain about? Leave it as a comment and maybe I’ll get around to responding after I’m done pulling back the green curtain and shedding light on what San Francisco’s government has become.

Billionaire investors like life long Republican Ron Conway have far too much influence on our city.  Developers and venture capitalists are making the real decisions at city hall and the results are displacement of the people who make San Francisco special.  Every day our city becomes less diverse, less creative, and more expensive.  Our homeless population grows, our artistic population shrinks and the wealth gap continues to expand to record levels.  These investors don’t care about our city, they care about making money.  And they will chop this city up and sell it to the highest bidder if we let Ed Lee continue to run things.  We implore you to Vote this November 3rd, and it doesn’t have to be for me, as long as it is for change.  Vote 1-2-3 and replace Ed Lee.

ed-lee-wizard-of-oz

Awesome art by Aaron Duffy…that’s Ron Conway behind the curtain

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".

5 Comments

  1. Maya
    October 13, 2015 at 11:36 am

    What about transportation, Stu?! Do you not believe that creating significantly better transportation would be, if not a solution, a salve to issues like housing, as well as lowering the ever-increasing divide between the haves and have-nots in this town.

    Hate on the Weenie (Scott Wiener) all you want, but his manifesto on SF public transportation — not to mention the fact that he exclusively uses public transit — is something that has resonated the most with me out of all political thought recently. I hope that Stuart, as well as those interested in SF politics (especially looking at you transplants), will take a look at this and consider the difference this could make in our small, yet difficult to navigate, city.

    http://www.scottwiener.com/transportation

    While I love that you are bringing more eyes to city politics, Stuart, I can’t condone your slant towards bashing the current regime as much, if not more than, discussing your own platforms and plans. I recognize that simply raising awareness might be the cause of your campaign, in which case I applause you. I do, however, think you should consider the legitimacy of your candidacy and make sure that your loving public (truly, myself included) can consider viable solutions to the problems facing our city. Transplant or native (of which I can count myself a member) we need to work together that create a better future for our city that is based less on progressive idealism and more on feasible and practical changes.

  2. Auntie Techy
    October 13, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    How about you stuff a wiener up your ass Maya, a Scott Wiener, because he’s a huge stinky turd just like the rest of the assholes at city hall. Personally I believe they are all corrupt and your just one of his shills. I wish someone would eat a carton of Twinkies and go clean up city hall once and for all, of course I also believe that most politicians and lawyers are sociopaths that need to be destroyed to save all mankind.

    Public transportation is easy all buses not run be the city must be routed to the bus terminal downtown and the public using the “tech buses” must use public transportation to reach those buses at the bus terminal, it gets those buses off of city streets so we clog them with more Uber drivers. Problem solved. Next issue? Scott Wiener being a dick? Can’t help you there a turd is a turd you either flush it or you live with it.

  3. October 13, 2015 at 5:14 pm

    Do you care about any part of the city other than the Mission? Have you ever been west of Stanyan or been on the N Judah?

    The only thing I’ve heard that makes sense this election is Reed Martin’s transit improvement plan.

  4. Jamie Weiss
    October 18, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    Omg, I just discovered you and now I am in love with you. Like in a total “you fucking rule” “this is awesome” kind of way. WIn or lose, it don’t matta! It’s the fact that you’re out there doing it. Walking the walk and becoming part of the political discourse. And at least your relevant. Maybe some young people living in poverty would actually care if they heard you speak, and maybe they’ll take their asses to the polls. Sending mad love from Los Angeles. Keep the faith, your sister in solidarity! Give em’ hell!

  5. October 30, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    Candidate “Schuffman” elated going challenge the authority of “The Ellis Act” Ed Lee no plea to resolve renters rights if you become mayor! Where your stance, protecting renters rights and building new communities yes,”LGBTQ” no more bogus charades. Project Hope for LGBTQ to appease the animosity never resolution “LGBTQ” face worse time during Lee administration decreasing rentals due “Ellis Act” not everyone Hipster” myself engineer advocate. NAIOP,Small-Pro SF,BOMA-SF,SFAA and CAAPAC antagonist whom persist regression. Willing buy politicians “City Hall” no longer democracy lease to property interest groups elated return of Tenant Ed instead repeal! Scott Wiener a joke” Mr.Micro man informing residents to conformist: accept “shoe box” habitat this irrelevant. Billions generated, from permits and land acquisition where is fairness “BMR” Below Market Rate” units MOHCD majority listed are sale units. Contact Lennar properties why “Candlestick park development former renters not allow to return? 3rd Evans Post office soon to be retail,residential and office park where rental units? Schuffman, if your selected for mayoral office build needed “BMR” units make developers included them. Ed doesn’t care he is liar, using “SRO,Senior housing, Section 8 vounchers,THU,In-Law units,Motels and New units majority for sale as compiled 30,000 units. Trivia apparent, Ed going allow displacement more residents whom many estimate 10,000 stated cheap rentals avid price think twice not nice $2,800 understand me. Schuffman not oppose to urban renewal projects there excellent concern where beginning price out! Former resident last apt “Twin Peaks” torn apt complex down without frowns for condo/lofts starting $1,8 million why they get it ratio of affluent 35% San Francisco. Resolution shall enact polices for renters rights and new communities available land Ed Lee pro “NAIOP” there new landlords of policies San Francisco. I’ll see you at the polls reading this have the facts new communities Ed” for gentrifications South Van Ness and Geary Blvd new developments. Forgotten “Schuffman awaited sales of air rights making residents uptight around 3rd Townsend “Caltran” equivalent to Hudson Yards NYC whom eager LLC,REITS and SIIS from abroad they have cash zoned 80 to 115 fl if so what about BRM” units? Good luck I’ll see you Nov 3, 2015 you right to vote make progress. Use information to ask candidates if not going living in paper bags as housing thanks good luck!