The Worst Passive Aggressive Moves on BART

As someone who lives in Oakland and works in San Francisco, I deeply understand the psychic and sensory warfare involved with commuter life. BART can mentally break you if you give it an inch, thus it’s best to approach the whole fiasco with a little piss and vinegar in your heart. That stupid train, like many things in life, presents you with problems that you can elect to take with meekness, psychotic rage, or as some people elect, ‘pagro’ problem solving measures. Let us explore some of these passive aggressive tactics that make my rage explode!

As I type the word “backpack” I can feel my jaw clenching in just pent up rage. Mother fucker the train is packed and you seem to be oblivious to the fact that you keep hitting me with it whenever you move. Put that shit on the ground.

Giving up your seat on BART sucks, but sitting there with your headphones on pretending to not see that person who legit needs a seat makes you a fully certified asshole.

This (guilty as charged)

I am sitting by the window, you are sitting by the aisle, thus obstructing my ability to easily get out when my stop arrives. Instead of standing up so I can get out, you make a half-assed attempt to draw your knees in closer so I can scooch by. I hate you.

I see you there, all up on the pole like you are trying to make it rain. Look, that fixture is made to accommodate many hands it is not sole property of yourself. So back the fuck up.

Hey, you people loitering up against the side of the wall. Can you please turn and look at said wall. You see those cute drawings of bikes? Adorable, right? Now look to the other side, see those people with bikes who are looking at you expectantly? Yeah, move your ass so they can put their bikes there.

Unless you are 20 years old, drunk, and all squishing into a phone booth, no one likes the game sardines. But BART, being the chariot of the masses, is kind of the adult equivalent of that very same game. Only you aren’t drunk, they aren’t your friends, and it is most certainly not a game. Bearing this in mind, move the fuck in and make room for other people.

I am sure at some point when you were a child someone informed you that when your head blocked their view of the television that you made a better door than a window. These same laws of obstruction still apply but now in a physical sense. So move the fuck out of the doorway so people can enter and exit the train as quickly as possible.