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Best Paintings To Make Out In Front Of

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Have you ever made out in front of a painting? If not, it’s a great way to spend a Friday night… or a Tuesday afternoon, or even a Sunday morning. Really, any time. All the time. You should definitely try it, and if you do, maybe try it in front of one of these:

"The Kiss," Gustav Klimt

Gustav Klimt, via Wikimedia Commons

We’ve definitely got to start off with Austrian artist Gustav Klimt’s “The Kiss.” The original work, from 1909, is wrought with gold foil, something that’s often missed in its many, many re-makes. The Kiss is considered a masterpiece of the early modern period, and it is also touted as one of the most romantic paintings ever. The couple is intertwined in an array of robes, and the piece evokes feelings of comfort and warmth. It’s a great painting to cozy up under on a chilly day with your favorite person in the world.

"Le Reve," Pablo Picasso

Le Reve,” Pablo Picasso

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La Reve (The Dream) is one of Pablo Picasso’s most famous works. Picasso is known for his distorted depictions of human features, and in this somewhat detached piece he was able to hide a ton of eroticism. It’s only subtle at first, then you realize that an erect penis makes up part of the woman’s face, and that her six fingers depict motion in a motionless artform. Lady is totally touching herself, and hopefully she’s thinking about you. If you make out under this painting, things are gonna get real nasty real fast.

"Sea Of Feelings," Leonid Afremov

Sea Of Feelings,” ©Leonid Afremov

This palette knife oil on canvas by Leonid Afremov is titled Sea Of Feelings. His depiction of two nude lovers is blurry yet surreal, and does hint at the notion of swimming through a roiling sea, both literally and metaphorically. Is it warm and comfortable, or wet and exciting? Maybe it’s both… While it’s a great painting to make out under, it’s also a great piece to hang in the bathroom and have some steamy shower fun under.

This piece is titled He Gave Me The Brightest Star. It’s a contemporary work by Adrian Borda, and has only been around since 1978. I don’t really have much to say about it. Just look at it. Tender, whimsical, sweet, a little dark… all of the things that comprise a great make-out session.

"The Fisherman And The Syren," Frederic Leighton

Frederic Leighton, via Wikimedia Commons

The Fisherman And The Syren is my personal favorite, and not just because you get a lil’ boob. This is one of Frederic Leighton’s early works, completed in 1858. Based on a poem by Geothe where a mermaid rises from the sea and takes the fisherman back down with her, it’s often considered a remarkable representation of the power and destructiveness of female sexuality. However, I think it’s a great painting to smooch in front of for another reason. Their passionate embrace is enviable and the fisherman’s demise is imminent, but Leighton chose to paint the moment just before their lips touched. The moment just before the kiss; the moment just before the potential bliss, or devastation. It poignantly conveys all the tension and uncertainty of a new love, and brings light the innate human urge to succumb to almost certain doom. This is a great painting for a first kiss. Also, good luck…

Frederic Leighton

Frederic Leighton, via Wikimedia Commons

The Painter’s Honeymoon is another famous work of Frederic Leighton, who is well-known for depicting classical nude images. This fully-clothed couple still manages to convey the ripeness of infatuation. The painter’s wife is drawing herself closer to her new husband, somewhat uncomfortably, despite the fact that he’s working. He holds her hand and presses his head against hers. That’s all us ladies really want, just a smidge of attention, even when you’re busy with something else. Her wonder and adoration are rewarded in kind, and I think these two will be getting naked soon.

"The Anthropomorphic Cabinet," Salvador Dali

The Anthropomorphic Cabinet,” Salvador Dali

Le Cabinet Anthropomorphique (The Anthropomorphic Cabinet) is one of Salvador Dali’s most famous pieces from 1936. The artist is well-known for his odd and sometimes uncomfortable renderings of supposedly simple concepts. He’s quite adept at bringing to life the complexity in these “simple” concepts. The concepts of love, or like, or “I want to make out with you” all sound fairly simple, but they really aren’t. Each is influenced by the anatomy of our individual psyches, which could be represented as a messy cabinet with arms, one of which is reaching out for (or is it shunning?) the light (or is it the woman in the distance?) This is a great painting to make out under when you’re in the throes of learning to understanding each other better, which of course, will open up new questions and curiosities. Simpler, yet more complex.

You don’t have to be an art enthusiast to get some action under a sweet or sultry classic, but if you are, check out these artists you should know. Maybe you’ll find a new piece to mash tongues under…

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AJ Earley - Persnickety Provocateur

AJ Earley - Persnickety Provocateur

AJ is a private chef, freelance writer, somewhat transient traveler, and root beer float aficionado who decided to pursue her passions despite the fact that they often leave her pockets a little emptier than they could be. She can cook and she can write and she likes to romp around the globe and have fun... why the f*** is she still single?