How To Stop Drinking….Temporarily
There are hundreds of articles out there for folks who are trying to stop drinking forever. But many of us fall into another category. What do you do when you’re a functional drinker who has all of a sudden had to stop consuming booze due to abrupt life circumstances? You are able to have 2-3 drinks and stop, but you really really really like to have those 2-3 drinks whenever you want. Well you’re in luck because this week I’m on some hardcore antibiotics and my routine wine supplement has to go on hold for about 10 days.
I’ve always treated alcohol like any other vice. When you’re trying to eat healthier, maybe your temptation is donuts, and you want to stop eating donuts every day. I treat booze like donuts. Donuts will always be around. Donuts aren’t going anywhere. And if you slip up and have a donut, just don’t eat donuts again. The donut you ate doesn’t stop you from never eating donuts again, if you don’t want to.
However, if you’re the kind of person where eating a donut is the gateway to doing lines of coke in the bathroom of an Applebees on a Tuesday, then this article probably isn’t for you. (Note: In all seriousness if you’re trying to quit drinking for real for real, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, professional, or find an AA meeting near you). But if breaking from booze is on your wish-I-didn’t-have-to-do list, here is how I got through an obligatory period of not drinking:
Find A Fun Way To Replace All The Calories
Since I stopped drinking so much wine, I had a sudden craving for ice cream again, probably to replace the sugar I was used to. It’s fun to do different things so picking out flavors replaced my excitement for picking out wine. If you stopped drinking temporarily to save money or to lose weight: To avoid gaining a million pounds, Halo Top is fucking delicious high protein, low calorie ice cream designed for you to eat the entire pint, which is cheaper than a bottle of wine, and less calories.
Remember Why You Can’t Drink
Maybe you’re trying to prove to yourself you don’t have to drink, and you really need to do this for you. Maybe you promised your significant other that if you didn’t drink for a month, they would agree to try waters ports, or Parks and Recreation themed role-play. Whatever it is, eye on the prize. For me personally, I am treating an annoyingly common vaginal infection which despite being medically “mild” has the prevailing symptom of a loathsome odor. It’s pretty much mother nature’s way of threatening to beat you if she catches you sneaking food before dinner. Except it’s that you can’t drink for a week or your lady-business will smell like garbage. If your own personal punishment for breaking sobriety isn’t this horrifying, you can just pretend you have mine.
Track the money you save by not drinking
I started antibiotics at the beginning of a weekend, and passed up 2 birthday celebrations at bars to avoid being around a ton of drunk people while I was so newly vulnerable. When I talked to my friend who went to those parties and heard how much he drank, I realized that between cabs and booze I would have easily spend at least $75 over 2 days if I had gone out. Yes, it would have been FUN AS HELL. But now I’m not hustling to pay the electricity bill because everyone was doing whiskey shots and I’m part of the party.
Confirm You Are Not a Real Alcoholic
One thing I learned from not drinking for a week is that there is little difference between my social filter with or without booze. I wrote this article completely sober and still made the decision to share some pretty personal info about my vagina. If you’re into saying “I told you so” this is the perfect time to let everyone know that your obnoxious behavior and tendency to overshare isn’t because you have a drinking problem, but that it’s WHO YOU TRULY ARE. So suck it, Aunt Susan.
Enjoy Your First Drink After Not Drinking
Cause you’re about to get wasted after 2 beers. Your tolerance is basically gone so after one drink you’re going to feel like a 15 year old who just had their first wine cooler. Don’t try to make up for lost time or you’ll be in the fast-lane to vomiting all over your kitchen floor (ask me how I know). If you’re out at a bar, order something that tastes good, and enjoy the fact that you’re going to get drunk for very cheap.