Comedy

Study Finds PDA is 47% More Annoying During a Pandemic

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A new study shows that people who put on Public Displays of Affection are on the hot seat this week.  As scientists have proven that ‘PDA’, while annoying in a normal year, has become 47% more annoying during a pandemic.

“Social distancing is a serious thing,”said scientist Dr. Sara Adans.  “In order to prevent further infections of the virus, people need to stand at least 6ft away from one another in public.” Said the scientist, “Our study has shown definitively that during a pandemic, PDA is ‘hella annoying’,” she added, “we also found that walking around barefoot in a city while holding hands, has been categorized as ‘totally disgusting’.

“Annoyance levels are off the charts,” says PDA specialist Dr. Claudia Makatak, “couples need to know that even when they are trying to be ‘cute’ on instagram, they may actually be annoying the fuck out of their friends.”  she said.

If you want to avoid alienating yourself from others during this time of self isolation, you should make sure to take all your ‘couples photos’ at a safe distance from one another.  Here is an example:

This is how couples need to take their romantic instagrams during this pandemic

See how awkward this couple is?  That’s what your friends want to see right now.


*This article is satire, I’m tired of the news, so I created some idiotic premises to hopefully make you laugh while you’re stuck at home.  Be well.

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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managin' editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. When we're not writing, editing, or publishing articles, Stuart and I are promoting the good things in SF & NYC.

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