Best Satire

26 Mar 2020

Study Finds PDA is 47% More Annoying During a Pandemic

A new study shows that people who put on Public Displays of Affection are on the hot seat this week.  As scientists have proven that ‘PDA’, while annoying in a normal year, has become 47% more annoying during a pandemic. “Social distancing is a serious thing,”said scientist Dr. Sara Adans. 

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
26 Mar 2020

Man Furious to Find Other People Enjoying Park During Quarantine

Despite the government’s shelter in place order, directing citizens to stay at home unless they need to “PROVIDE OR RECEIVE CERTAIN ESSENTIAL SERVICES”.  People still seem to be taking walks in parks periodically, and still seem to be walking their dogs and exercise outside their homes. Local man Kenneth Buttress

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
18 Feb 2020

The Delicious Card: Rad Deals at 30+ SF Restaurants

I am extremely excited to announce the release of The Delicious Card! Delicious cardholders get awesome deals at over 30 of your favorite SF eateries! Membership is a great way to explore new places, support local businesses, and support local journalism.

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
26 Mar 2020

How to Safely Eat Your Pets During a Food Shortage

It’s day eleventy-thousand of quarantine, and if you are like me, you’re starting to think about eating your pets.  Not because you have anything against your wife’s Pomeranian named ‘Penelope’, but because your government is asking you to shelter in place, and to conserve supplies, and you have mouths to

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 3
12 Mar 2020

Pence Praying 6-7 Times a Day for Trump to Contract Coronavirus  

“God is telling me to give Trump the virus, I’m so ashamed!”

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
13 Feb 2020

Heroic Images from the Haight St Blackout Last Night

At approximately 830pm in Hayes Valley, some PG&E equipment caught fire underground.  The result was a blackout for neighborhoods on the surrounding power grid.  Upper and Lower Haight St, Hayes Valley, parts of the Castro, Western Addition, even the goddamn Ballet had to close down and cancel its performance. As

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
01 Jan 2020

Putin Gives Trump a ‘Full Pardon’ on New Years Day

Moscow – President Vladimir Putin held his annual New Year’s Eve party and this year President Trump was in attendance.  Putin gave a grand toast at midnight and officially pardoned the American President for all his transgressions in 2019. In front of a crowd of party-goers, Putin gave a speech

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
12 Dec 2019

Chase Center Giant TV To Just Play Laker Games Now 

“We’re just trying to get people to stay past halftime.”

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
22 Oct 2019

Trump to Destroy Turkish Economy by Opening Trump Casinos All Over Turkey

A week after President Donald Trump warned that he would “swiftly destroy” Turkey’s economy if it continued to attack US-allied Kurds in northeastern Syria, the President has doubled down on his threats.  “If the Turks do not stop their aggression into Syria, I will build Trump Casinos all over Turkey

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0