Adventurous SexArts and CultureClub KidsColumnsMusicNewsSan FranciscoSatire/Humor/ComedySelf CareTravel

How Ashley Fell in Love with San Francisco by Getting Spanked

Updated: Aug 18, 2022 08:49
The Bay's best newsletter for underground events & news

By Jeremy Kuempel

Fog City Fables is a mini-series about true to life experiences of how people with different backgrounds fell in love with San Francisco, published with permission. By retelling positive personal stories, we hope to inspire an evolving culture that can build upon the best parts of our past.

The Burner Booty Brigade

Her eyes widened as thumping bass filled the Indiana street corridor. She watched as a wild assortment of people clad in furs, blinky LEDs and leather bustled about dancing, drinking, sharing stories and hugging each other like family. She’d relocated to the South Bay from Texas and was just starting to make pilgrimages up to San Francisco in search of inspiration, camaraderie and dirty dance beats. Tonight’s event was unlike anything she’d ever seen before. The definitive post-Burning Man gathering was starting to unfold in front of her—Decompression 2013.

“Let’s dance on that pirate ship,” said a friend, taking her by the hand and leading her up a rope ladder and onto the crowded wooden poop deck. She could feel the dusty planks rocking under her feet, bouncing from nearby hips gyrating to dubstep being blasted from an oversized tower of speakers. A mysterious woman caught her eye and made her way forward, swimming through the undulating crowd until they were dancing right next to each other.

The woman leaned in close and shouted gently over the pumping music “You look like you know how to give a good spanking. I know this is a little random, but I really love to be spanked. I was wondering if you would spank me?”

She had never been asked so nicely to spank someone before. It delighted her how direct and confident the request was. The woman grabbed the ship’s lacquered taffrail and hiked up her patchwork dress, ass gleaming like a target in the technicolor rave lights. Her hand pulled back with the poise of a tennis player and landed on the woman’s exposed posterior with a resounding smack that cut through the music.

Heads nearby turned towards the sound but she didn’t even notice–she was too enthralled with spanking the woman to see a man making his way toward her. As he leaned in to say something, she wondered what might come next.

He asked, “Can you spank me too?” Moments later he was bent over and grabbing the railing, ass out and gleaming.

Smack! Bullseye!

Another person came up with the same request, then another and another! A line formed on the ship. She was smacking ass after ass, her face bright and smile shining. She wasn’t in Texas anymore and was fucking loving it.

Ashley moved to San Francisco not long after that party and got involved in the Burning Man community. She continues to embrace and contribute to the magical weirdness and beauty that is the Fog City. Ashley is an athlete, explorer, lover of life, and general badass. She still smacks asses every chance she gets.

Do you have a unique story about the moment you fell in love with San Francisco? Please email

Like this article? Make sure to sign up for our mailing list so you never miss a goddamn thing!
Previous post

Sex Worker Clinic Set To Open South of Market

Next post

What Your Weed Order Says About You

Guest Writer

Guest Writer

We write for busboys, poets, social workers, students, artists, musicians, magicians, mathematicians, maniacs, yodelers and everyone else out there who wants to enjoy life not as a rich person, but as a real person. Namely, we write for you.

We’re currently looking to expand our author pool. If you’re snarky, know what’s happening in your town, and good at making your fingers type out funny words, then you might be just the person we’re looking for. Email with some writing samples if you're interested. Cheers