Former Homeless Man Speaks Out About the Realities of Life on the Streets
From the Streets of SF: A Former Homeless Man Exposes the Harsh Reality of SF’s Crisis
By Kellie Hanna
Homelessness in San Francisco has reached a crisis point, with more than 8,000 people living on the streets, in tents, cars, mobile homes, and temporary shelters. It continues to strain the city’s infrastructure and challenge residents with no resolution in sight. For those living on the streets, it’s an unrelenting struggle. Many go without basic needs such as food, shelter, and safety, feeling trapped in a system that offers little support or tangible solutions.
Shelby Wildeman, a former unhoused person turned homeless advocate, has experienced those harsh realities firsthand. Here, he offers an unfiltered look into what it’s like to be homeless in San Francisco and I sat down with Shelby to listen to his perspective on how we can help those in the thick of it.
Kellie: When I met you in 2019, you were homeless. How did you get there? What was that experience like for you?
Shelby: I had been living with a girl named Ashley. We had been together for years, but she got hit by a car and, without me knowing, became overmedicated. She got addicted to painkillers, then switched to heroin. She had her addiction, and I lost my job, so we had no money at all. We lost our apartment and became homeless. We went our separate ways because we had different goals. The first place I ever slept was on the corner of Sixth Street and Howard. I quickly realized how dangerous it was out there. In the first two hours, I was spit on twice by people just walking by. The neighborhood people didn’t want me there, I guess. I started looking for work.
It takes a while when you’re homeless to find work, but I kept trying. I started sleeping at the Embarcadero because it was away from drugs, and no one would attack me. Every morning at 7 AM, I’d head to day labor and wait for jobs. Sometimes I’d get work, sometimes I didn’t. I’ve never stolen anything; I don’t do that. But if I didn’t make money that day, I’d panhandle to make ends meet and then sleep wherever I could. This went on for about a year. I worked a little, but I couldn’t save enough money. The money I did save, a bartender from a bar on the corner of Jones and Alamo held for me. Joanne, the bar owner, was an amazing woman. She knew me because I had spent seven years on that corner, and everyone in the area knew me. She would hold my savings and give it back to me when I needed it.
Kellie: How did you get off the streets?
Shelby: I ended up living in a shed in a backyard in the Inner Sunset, staying with a woman, her son, and her father. During that time, I started sharing my experiences on Facebook. I’d post every morning about what it was like being homeless. That’s when I got a call from a friend who told me about a program called Hotels Not Hospitals. This was around six months into COVID, maybe seven. I got a roommate and was able to save some money and get back on my feet. After about 18 months, I was able to move on. About six months into that time, I decided to give back because I saw how many people were still struggling out there, so I started doing homeless outreach. Now I help about 100 people a week.
Your outreach work seems like a labor of love. Can you tell us about what you do specifically?
Shelby: Each week, I feed about 100 people and hand out about 80 to 120 hygiene bags. I don’t do as many tents as I’d like to because it’s a lot of work, and my knees and ankles aren’t in the best shape. I don’t have storage for it either. I try to designate where I take the meals and items. My main priority is always the people at Embarcadero because that’s where I slept when I was homeless. They’ll always be number one for me. I go to different neighborhoods on specific days. Thursday is always for Embarcadero, and I try to go to Bayview on Mondays when I have time, but that depends on my schedule. I know where everyone is in my neighborhood.
On Sundays, I take a couple of people to the laundromat to wash their clothes. After that, I spend the rest of the day with an elderly gentleman I take care of. But honestly, I couldn’t do it without the help of others. I have Burrito Dave, who brings about 30 burritos every Thursday. Sometimes we manage to make it through. Then there’s a woman who makes a casserole for me to hand out every week. People on Facebook help through Amazon.
Can you tell us about some of the dangers people experience on the streets?
Shelby: I’ve known more than one person who’s been set on fire. His husband is a great man, someone I’ve met a couple of times. This gentleman lived not far from here, and he was set on fire and died, burned to death. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve seen so many people go through this kind of violence. I’ve seen people’s tents on fire too.
One time, I saw a big fire break out around the corner from where I lived. I heard screaming, and a guy and a girl were trapped in their tent. The girl’s arm got burned badly because the nylon of a tent melts right into your skin when it catches fire. Some asshole threw something on their tent, and it ignited. After that, I knew I could never sleep in a tent. I used to sleep in a tent when I first started out homeless, but after seeing a tent go up in flames, I never did it again.
“A lot of homeless women are scared of the police because they don’t want to lose their belongings. If they go to the police or a shelter, they know they risk losing everything they have.”
Kellie: I want to also talk about the danger for women on the streets, especially when it comes to rape and assault. Is it a common phenomenon among homeless women?
Shelby: I hear about it at least once every two weeks. A lot of times, women are assaulted, especially if they don’t have a way to defend themselves. If a girl is sleeping on the street, a couple of guys might walk by and just decide to snatch her up, drag her off somewhere, and assault her. It happens all the time—some of the people doing this are homeless too, but some are housed. The sad part is, if a homeless woman is assaulted, a lot of them are too scared to go to the police because they’re afraid they’ll be arrested.
There was this one case I remember—a girl got raped and went to the police for help, but when they did a rape kit, the cops used her DNA to find out she had a warrant for another crime. They arrested her for that. She went in for help, and ended up arrested. A lot of homeless women are scared of the police because they don’t want to lose their belongings. If they go to the police or a shelter, they know they risk losing everything they have.
I try to help protect women on the streets. Every year, I collect and hand out pepper spray and tasers to the women and older ladies I know in the community. It’s important to me because I’ve seen so much happen to women. I’ve heard of one woman in her tent waking up to two guys in her tent, their hands over her mouth. That’s just one example. It’s an ongoing issue. Women are getting assaulted, and there’s very little protection for them.
Kellie: Have you seen people suffer serious consequences or even die because they couldn’t get healthcare?
Shelby: Yeah, I’ve seen it. I’m not even talking about people who have drug issues. I’m just talking about people like diabetics who lose a foot or a leg out there. There’s also something called patient dumping. It’s shocking how often it happens. Patient dumping is when someone, often someone who’s homeless or has mental illnesses, is in the hospital, but the hospital decides they don’t want to keep them until they’re better or until they have housing. So, they’ll send them to another part of the city, and leave them on the street. In Minnesota, there was a case where they did this to a woman, and I think she died. Her family sued the hospital and won a lot of money.
“Dental care is a huge issue. If you’re homeless and develop a dental abscess, you can’t just go to the dentist. A lot of people are scared to go because they think they’ll lose their stuff, so they just get sicker.”
Patient dumping has been happening for a long time, and a lot of homeless people end up as victims of it. That’s why you’ll see homeless people in the hospital a lot—most of them are victims of patient dumping. Doctors sometimes treat people poorly, like wrapping up a broken finger and telling them to leave, without properly addressing their illness. It’s one of the worst things I’ve seen. I’ve seen more people lose their feet and legs since I started doing homeless outreach than I ever have in my life. I worked on a farm for 22 years around big equipment, and I’ve seen some serious injuries there too. But with homelessness, I’ve seen people walk without a leg and fall, breaking their teeth. Dental care is a huge issue. If you’re homeless and develop a dental abscess, you can’t just go to the dentist. A lot of people are scared to go because they think they’ll lose their stuff, so they just get sicker.
What has your experience been with homeless families? Are you seeing more families living on the streets?
Shelby: Yeah, I’ve seen more homeless families. Homelessness has been rising. In the past two years, I’ve met more families than ever. I met a girl a few years ago—she and her mom lived in a van. Another girl I met when she was 15 is graduating high school this June. Right now, they’re shutting down an RV encampment in Bayview—366 RVs, over 70 people. In my neighborhood, there’s a mobile home with a seven-year-old girl. I probably know five families with kids personally, but the numbers are increasing.
I’ve got friends in Oakland and San Jose, and the rise in homeless families there is huge. Even in San Francisco, it’s getting really bad. We do have family shelters, but they’re hard to get into. When I was homeless, I knew a woman with a young boy who was kicked out after 90 days. They say it’s to ‘keep things moving,’ but how can you get housed with no affordable housing? And if you do get housing, how can you afford the rent once you get a job? One of the hardest things for homeless families is finding housing. They also need daycare to get jobs. There’s no free daycare for homeless parents, so some families say they’re homeschooling just to survive. The problem is only getting worse, and with more programs closing, it’s going to keep growing.
“The worst part is the rats…They’ll crawl into your blanket, thinking it’s food, and they’ll bite you”
Kellie: How much of a problem are pests when you’re homeless? I recall you talking about rats a few times. Can you tell us about it?
Shelby: Yeah, here’s how it works. When you’re homeless, you have a blanket to stay warm. Well, the bugs aren’t looking for warmth, but they’ll crawl around, and once they get into your clothes, they don’t know how to get out. So, you end up with bugs inside your clothes. But the worst part is the rats. If you’ve had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you lay down to sleep, even if you’re done eating, they can still smell the peanut butter on your hands. They’ll crawl into your blanket, thinking it’s food, and they’ll bite you. They’ll eat your food, and they’ll bite you. Rats are bad. I’ve seen people get bitten. I even saw a girl who had part of her ear bitten off—it was like someone yanked her earring out, but it was a rat. I didn’t see it happen, but I saw the aftermath.
I’ve been bitten by rats. It’s not just one rat, either. San Francisco is one of the worst places for rats. Rats will crawl anywhere it’s warm. I’ve seen homeless people get up and there would be four or five rats zooming off from under them. When I was staying in the Bayview area, near the water, I’d sit on the concrete, and there were rats in the bushes. Before I went to sleep, I’d grab food out of the garbage and feed them. They’d eat, and once they were full, they wouldn’t bother me. I did this every night, so the rats wouldn’t come near me. But after a while, there was only one rat left, and I named him ‘Renfield.’ I saw him every day when I was homeless.
Kellie: Do you think people wind up homeless because of drugs or do they turn to drugs because of the hard lives they live on the streets?
Shelby: I think there’s a mix. It’s common to see people start using drugs or alcohol once they’re homeless. If you haven’t done drugs or drank before, the odds are high you’ll do something while homeless because even just sleeping on the sidewalk hurts. If you’re drunk or high, it doesn’t hurt as much. Most people start drinking, and then maybe they try something else, like painkillers. Next thing you know, they’ve lost everything and will do whatever drugs are available. You see young homeless people on corners using drugs, and many of them aren’t even homeless—they just hang out there because they can’t get high in their homes. A lot of them have SROs nearby but can’t smoke or have friends over. The issue is widespread, and it’s sad.
“Fentanyl and meth are two of the biggest contributors. It’s killing people, and it’s spreading rapidly.”
Many people who use drugs end up homeless. Some people in SROs may end up selling their food stamps and using that money to feed their drug habit. Eventually, they end up on the streets. Fentanyl and meth are two of the biggest contributors. It’s killing people, and it’s spreading rapidly. I’ve seen people who used to do cocaine, then one day, they all died after using fentanyl that was cut with cocaine. It’s a huge problem. Meth was once the big issue, but now fentanyl is taking over. I know people who used to be meth users and now they’re hooked on fentanyl. It’s tragic. Being homeless makes people more vulnerable, and the longer you’re out there, the more likely you are to turn to drugs to cope.
Kellie: What factor does mental illness play in being homeless?
Shelby: There are a lot of people with mental illness out there. If I had to guess, I’d say around 70% of the homeless population struggles with some form of mental illness, whether it’s a small issue or something more severe, like delusions where people think they’re seeing robots or other things. I think a lot of people wind up on the streets because of mental illness. I’ve had some people get wild with me, but most are pretty calm.
Kellie: How can housed people help the homeless?
Shelby: I think one of the biggest things people can do is volunteer at a soup kitchen or a drop-in center. When you’re behind the counter at a soup kitchen, you’re in a safe space, and it helps you get used to it. Plus, everybody wants to eat, whether you’re homeless or not. Volunteering at a place like a soup kitchen or an organization like the Gubbio Project can help change the way people see homelessness. I can’t say enough about them because they helped me a lot when I was homeless. They’re located on 15th and Julian, near the 16th Street Park, in Saint John’s Church.
“Volunteering at a place like a soup kitchen or an organization like the Gubbio Project can help change the way people see homelessness”
If someone can’t volunteer, I recommend calling a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, or even a battered women’s shelter and asking what they need. It could be something simple like socks or hygiene products. Those are things that are really hard for homeless people to get and are always in need.
Kellie: What is the biggest lie you think the city is telling us about how they’re handling the homeless problem?
Shelby: The biggest lie is that the city is offering enough beds and that the homeless sweeps are effective. There aren’t enough beds, and they keep closing shelters and cutting spaces. When COVID hit, they reduced bus services, so people couldn’t even get to where they needed to go, let alone get food. I was turned down three times for homeless hotel rooms because I didn’t fit the criteria—they mostly put people with addictions in there. The city also moved homeless people out of certain areas during events like the China event, claiming they were helping, but they just swept them away. They lied about providing housing. They closed shelters instead of opening more, and they took away 50 beds from one shelter, leaving people back on the streets.
Kellie: Homeless sweeps have increased over the last year. What happens to people during a sweep?
Shelby: When people get swept, they lose more than just their tent and blankets. They lose their housing papers, food stamps, their phone, and even the last picture they have of a loved one who passed away. It’s not just about losing material things; it’s about losing everything. One lady I knew, for example, had a high cholesterol and high blood pressure medication, but when they swept her stuff, they took that medication away. Now she’s stuck without it. It’s really tough because people lose everything they’ve worked so hard to keep. It’s like their whole world gets wiped out in an instant.
I feel like the way the city handles homelessness is just wrong. The sweeps are one of the worst things because they’re not helping anyone. They take people’s belongings, which means they’re not just taking their tents, but everything they’ve worked so hard to keep. These people lose their IDs, medications, and their sense of stability. They’ve already lost so much, and then the city comes in, making it even harder for them to survive. I would rather have someone spit on me or throw a drink at me than have the city come and take everything away. It’s like adding insult to injury.
Kellie: The issue of homelessness in the city is complex, and no one seems to have a solution. In your opinion, what can the city do to improve the situation?
Shelby: Public domain. There are so many empty buildings in this city that landlords are just sitting on, using as tax write-offs. If a building has been closed for a year, the city should take it under public domain—turn it into a shelter, a soup kitchen, housing, or even storage for homeless people so they don’t lose their belongings. I’ve lived here for years, and I’ve seen warehouses sitting empty the entire time. If public domain was used the way it should be, a lot of these problems could be solved. And at the very least, it would make landlords think twice before keeping buildings empty for years. They have no problem using public domain when they want to build a highway or a train track—they’ll take half a farmer’s land if he won’t sell. So why aren’t we doing that here for these empty buildings? Take Burlington Coat Factory, for example. That space alone could shelter at least 500 people.
“Because if you just hand someone money and send them back out there, it’s not going to fix anything.”
Homelessness has been around since the beginning of time. It’s never going to disappear completely. But if we want to slow it down, we need public domain, lower rents, and—this one’s controversial—forced mental health treatment. Instead of throwing people back onto the streets after treatment, we should be transitioning them into housing where they can continue getting their medication and support. If they can’t work, help them get a SSI check and find a way to give them purpose. Because if you just hand someone money and send them back out there, it’s not going to fix anything.
Good places to help or volunteer:
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