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We Probably Had A Tornado Last Weekend…

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When you think of tornadoes, you probably think of the Midwest or the South, which makes sense, since, you know, that’s where the vast majority of them occur. It’s not too often those of us on the coasts get fucked by the sky, but that is exactly what almost happened near Santa Cruz and Monterey Counties this past weekend.

Despite indications seen on radar and a rare tornado warning for the area, the National Weather Service (NWS) faced challenges in confirming whether a tornado actually touched down in Monterey County on Saturday.

In a statement released on Sunday evening via X, formerly known as Twitter, the NWS Bay Area highlighted their inability to find sufficient damage that would unequivocally confirm a tornado touchdown, despite the strong rotation detected by radar. This declaration came following a severe thunderstorm event on Saturday, which triggered the tornado warning for coastal Northern California.

The NWS reported that a radar velocity loop displayed a rotating thunderstorm, potentially indicating a waterspout in the Monterey Bay area, before it made landfall near Moss Landing. Alongside this, forecasters cautioned residents about the possibility of pea-sized hail in the region.

The warning, initially issued around 6:16 p.m., encompassed areas including Watsonville, Hollister, and Aromas within Santa Cruz, San Benito, and Monterey counties. Subsequently, the warning was extended to cover Elkhorn, Pajaro, Prunedale, Ridgemark, and San Juan Bautista areas of Monterey and San Benito counties.

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While climate change continues to alter the weather, extreme weather events like this may become more common in Northern California. In instances where tornado touchdowns are suspected but not confirmed, meteorologists rely on various data sources, including radar imagery and eyewitness reports, to assess the likelihood of a tornado occurrence. However, without tangible evidence of damage, confirming tornado touchdowns can be elusive, as was the case in Monterey County.

And I know Santa Cruz and Monterey County aren’t technically the Bay Area, they’re our neighbors and if a tornado can (maybe) touch down there, they can most certainly (maybe) touch down here. 

Well, maybe tornadoes are a good thing. Hear me out. What do all the places that have tornadoes also have in common besides tornadoes? They’re cheap as fuck to live in. Maybe a little skysuck can go a long way. 

Question: Can we start calling tornadoes skysucks? Clearly tornadoes aren’t funny, but they could be funnier if we started to refer to them as skysucks. 

It’s just a thought. I’m just saying if my house was destroyed by a tornado and I had to look directly in the camera and tell the news anchor that my house was sucked off by the sky, I’d probably start laughing. 

And when bad shit happens, even if it sounds counterintuitive, absurd shit can help alleviate the burden a bit. 

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Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff is an Oakland-based writer, editor and digital content creator known for Bay Area Memes, a local meme page that has amassed nearly 200k followers. His work has appeared in SFGATE, The Bold Italic and of course, BrokeAssStuart.com. His book of short stories, personal essays and poetry entitled Don't Drown on Dry Ground is available now!