You’re smart, sexy, and sophisticated. And cheap. Anyone would be thrilled to date you, which is why you don’t need to empty your pockets for someone else – in fact  leave those hands in those pockets because you’re going to take yourself out on a five-finger date. Whoever said that

Like many San Franciscans, I am exceptionally poor. As in I’m on Food Stamps poor. As in I had to ask the cashier to void my transaction when I found out Carl’s Jr. couldn’t accept my Food Stamps poor, which was awkward for both me and my date (to be