We all know that anything that comes out of a woman (other than relentless orgasms) is completely unnatural and disgusting. If that wasn’t the case, then jokes about it would seem hackneyed and unoriginal. But women must really like bleeding out their vag, otherwise why would they spend 11.4% of their

Generally before I make any decisions in life, I ask myself one important question: What Would Ryan Lochte Do? I’ve always wanted to be a world class idiot (and swimmer) with his own reality show, and everyone knows Lochte is so fast because he shaves his whole body. After all,

Step into a world of adventure with the San Francisco Beer Passport. There’s no better way to explore San Francisco than to literally drink it in. This passport is amazing! Each one contains 28 coupons to buy one beer, get a second beer FREE at 28 of the finest locally

When I tell people who I used to be, they don’t believe me. And not just because I used to be black. It’s because I was withdrawn, lacking in all things self-esteem, clad in Matrix gear (complete with trenchcoat), and emphatically Christian. People who knew me then hardly recognize me

For those of you who don’t know what pegging is, it’s a neologism created by all-around-awesome-guy Dan Savage, that basically involves a broom handle, some duct tape, and a man and woman who want to spice things up in the bedroom, but couldn’t spring for the furry costumes. If you’ve never pegged or been

  All debate over whether or not there was any merit in writing this article ended for me when I still laughed-out-loud after the tenth time of running the premise through my head. Let’s face it: everybody poops. Some people even do it soft-serve-style into cups (NSFW, but oh so tempting to

If Obamacare means that we get FREE vibrators for taxpayers, then we can’t get enough of it. SFist is reporting that Trojan will be giving away FREE vibrators on April 12, the Friday before Tax Day. All you have to do is show up to The Box, tell them you’ve filed your

If I hear a woman talk about chivalry being dead one more time, I’m going to take her to dinner and not pay for it. Then I’m going to make a pee-puddle and put her cardigan over it so I don’t get my heels wet. OKCupid has provided me with

If I ever have a son, I am going to circumcise him. *cleans out inbox to make room for fun emails* I remember the first time I heard the word circumcision. I was in fourth grade, and it was the first year students at my elementary school were allowed to take