Jake Warren

05 Jul 2022

Straight Men, Sucking D*ck Does Not Make You Gay

Cheers to the straight guys who have fooled around with me. I think of you from time to time, and I hope you’re well. You’re an integral part of my adolescence and early college years. I share our memories (anonymously, of course) with my gay friends to convivial laughter. They

Jake Warren 0
05 Jul 2022

We’re All Going To Die

Jennifer Lawrence’s character screamed it at her interviewers for downplaying a comet headed towards Earth in Netflix’s Don’t Look Up. Raja said it with wonder in her eyes during a commencement speech for the queens of All Stars 7. It’s one of Homer’s favorite sayings on The Simpsons, as well

Jake Warren 0
27 Jan 2024

The San Francisco Beer Passport is Here!

Step into a world of adventure with the San Francisco Beer Passport. There’s no better way to explore San Francisco than to literally drink it in. This passport is amazing! Each one contains 27 coupons to buy one beer, get a second beer FREE at 27 of the finest locally

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
03 Jul 2022

Four Reasons Not To Celebrate the Fourth of July

The Fourth of July supposedly symbolizes freedom. It means liberty, self-governance. Independence from tyranny. July 4th is supposed to be fun, because living in America was supposed to be fun. The ruling fathers wove opulence into the foundational documents of this nation. They killed and enslaved for extravagant wealth, for

Jake Warren 0
29 Jun 2022

PTSD: A Breakdown

Post- You might’ve pictured a grizzled veteran, head in his hands in a gloomy V.A. hospital on the outer edge of town. I know him well. He drinks more than he used to, enough for people to notice. The man is on medications that extinguish his sex life. He’s gained

Jake Warren 0
28 Jun 2022

San Francisco Pride: Staving Off The Comedown

A San Francisco Pride Experience Judging by looks alone, San Francisco was more than ready to party. An LED rainbow beamed up Market Street from a scissor-lift platform stationed in front of the Ferry Building. The leeward hillside below Sutro Tower bore an inverted, bright-fuschia triangle. It shone hot-pink at

Jake Warren 0
22 Jun 2022

Antidepressants: A Thank-You to My Drugs

BUPROPION (Wellbutrin), 300mg daily You’re such a slut but I like you that way. Everybody likes you that way. Magazines call you “the happy, skinny, sexy pill,” for that covetous sexual energy you bring back to the body. Why shouldn’t they? Like spring after winter you followed a fatty, flaccid

Jake Warren 0
21 Jun 2022

BART Fare Increase Approved By Officials

Shootings. Stabbings. Derailments. Operating system and equipment failures. “Unscheduled” track maintenance. Civilians walking in the tunnels. These are only some of the problems plaguing our Bay Area Rapid Transit system. Ridership is 30-to-40% of its weekday pre-pandemic levels, and the aging agency sees about half its previous weekend riders. Despite

Jake Warren 0
Smoke and ash from distant wildfires fill the air in downtown San Francisco.
15 Jun 2022

The Potential Volcanic Threat to San Francisco

In 1997, James Bond and Sarah Connor teamed up against the tallest and most powerful adversary of the nineties disaster-film revival: a volcano. The plot of Dante’s Peak is simple: a quiet town at the foot of a sleeping giant ignores its reawakening to attract more tourists and property investors.

Jake Warren 0