Kaytlin Bailey
The Futility of Rock Climbing, and also Life
People invest a lot of time, money and effort climbing walls to nothing. This sisyphean hobby is the perfect metaphor for most of life. It’s hard, feelings of accomplishment are fleeting, and we don’t have to do it. The first time I went rock climbing was at summer camp. My parents
Bucket List for Millennials Before the Coming Apocalypse
The seas are rising, the bees are dying, and Donald Trump is the commander & chief of the most decked out army the world has ever seen. We’re not going to have another free election, the social safety net is unraveling & the brightest minds of our generation are focused
The 90s Are Back! We Have Color Changing Shirts!
As 2024 winds down, we’re reflecting on another incredible year of sharing the stories, art, culture, and nightlife that make the Bay Area so unique. BrokeAssStuart.com wouldn’t be what it is without you—our community of readers, supporters, and believers in independent media. This year, instead of asking you to join Patreon
Why You Should Wait Until Your 30’s To Do Drugs
High School and college are a terrible time to experiment with drugs. Wait until you’re in your 30’s. Your hangovers will be worse, but everything else will be better. Teenagers have no privacy or power. Humorless adults are notorious for barging into rooms unannounced. Parents and teachers demand attendance at
Cutting Carbs and Bullshit on The Road
I didn’t grow up with religion so I’m easily impressed by inconvenient rituals, and exercises in deprivation that make me feel vaguely smug. I’ve always been susceptible to cults like political campaigns, yoga, (tantric sex), retreats & extreme diets. Anything to fill the void. I recently started the keto diet. For the
How to Shut Down Cat Callers This Summer, Without Losing Your Cool
Temperatures and hemlines are rising — which means it’s catcalling season. Days are longer, and tempers are shorter. Instead of taking all that frustration out on your loved ones, unload on someone that deserves it – like men who make women uncomfortable in public. If you’re a woman over thirteen
How to Tell Your Lover You Also Have Sex For Money
You met someone cute! And funny! And super open minded! But before you let yourself get attached you know you have to tell them that sometimes you have sex with other people, for money. Or maybe you don’t. Sex workers have been keeping these kinds of secrets for eons. It was easier
The Orgasm Gap Matters More Than The Wage Gap
The best part about being a woman in the 21st century is having whatever kind of sex you want, with whoever you want, and no one will burn you alive for witchcraft! It helps you weed out the douchebags faster, and we have the medical technology to both prevent and
Tax and Flu Season Feel the Same
The last time I felt this nauseated, angry and anxious was when I had morning sickness. I never threw up over homework assignments in high school. Not even when I was a sleep deprived, hormonal, overachiever taking an absurd amount of AP classes. I’m not pregnant, I don’t have the flu,