Sex is love’s curious child.  Sex is a candy that only strangers have.  If I were a superhero, I’d want my power to be Sexually Desired. Why should we allow a basic need to be so powerful?  Sexual thoughts and fantasies are something we all do repetitively throughout the day.

OFF MENU IS SPONSORED BY BENDER’S BECAUSE THEY ARE BADASS. DROP BY AND MAKE SOME BAD DECISIONS WITH SOME GOOD PEOPLE!   The Irish have a knack for storytelling. And according to my mobster ex-boyfriend, fighting as well. They never give up.  Combined, if they do it right, it’s like a reassuring family.

I’ve got some awesome news! We received a grant from the Civic Joy Fund to put out a literary magazine celebrating SF and acting to counter the stupid “Doom Loop” narrative. It’s a gift to the people of San Francisco. And after months of working on this project it’s now available

I like danger and anything I can’t have. But I am afraid of ghosts.  Historically, I’ve been able to evade the supernatural.  But sometimes, because of our circumstances, we can’t always avoid what we don’t want. I spent the weekend at a San Francisco hostel in lower Nob Hill.  My first

Bedbugs are what happens when horror movies come true.  It’s confirmation that, ‘yes, gross creatures who suck your blood at night do live in your walls.’ Despite the macabre, bedbugs are relatively simple to handle if you understand these key points: 1. Every one of those bastards has to die 2.

Let’s talk about poop.  Freud compared it to sex, and I think he may be right.  Shitting is a form of ejaculation we were introduced to as infants.  Sex is expensive.  Pooping is FREE….well, if you know where to go.  Here are the best five bathrooms to shit for FREE

Might as Well Face it You’re Addicted to Sex I had sex with a married woman in the backseat of my Boss’s car. She began flicking her tongue between my thighs while my Boss was driving down 6th St.  At 8th St. her nipple slid onto my clitoris while a

I like danger and anything I can’t have. My favorite crime is forgery.  It’s a neglected art that we’re taught to be ashamed of.  Before I tutor your first session, here are a few guidelines: The Rules of Forgery. 1st RULE: You do not talk about FORGERY. 2nd RULE:  You DO

I like danger and anything I can’t have. At 2:15am I took a stolen carton of Marlboro Reds (one that I stole) to sell on Leavenworth St. in the Tenderloin (the TL). It traded for $50. I took my new $50 bill and bought two roxicodone. The $50 was fake,