Satire/Humor/Comedy

How to Extract Baby Teeth in a Fun Way

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Do you have children with mouthfuls of teeth that just won’t fall out? Or maybe you have the opposite problem, and you’re tired of searching everywhere for discarded baby teeth?

Well, now you’re in luck because there is a solution for you! 

The World’s Biggest Bounce House is Coming to the San Francisco Bay Area, with a 16,000 Sq. Ft. Bounce House, a Customized Sports Arena, and Much More!!!

No more need for tooth pliers or cumbersome strings attached to door nobs, if you’re looking for a sure-fire way to get rid of your kid’s baby teeth in a matter of hours, then look no further!  Miles of bouncy castle with acres of inflated obstacles and hundreds of other uncoordinated little people with American Gladiator-style weapons!

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So Many fun ways for extraction!

Look how excited these Dads are to find so many free baby teeth!

Never have baby teeth been so easy to lose!

Now, we can hear your husband complaining already, “Jeez Linda this is too good to be true! Where in the Bay Area will they be able to fit a bounce house of this size? It’s impossible!!”  And, ” I DON’T LIKE FUN AND EXERCISE! What am I supposed to do while the kids are jumping around and losing their teeth!?”


I DON’T LIKE FUN AND EXERCISE! What am I supposed to do while the kids are jumping around and losing their teeth!?” – A bored parent named Phil.


We’re glad you asked Phil, the answer is: “Gamble on the ponies because The World’s Largest Bouncy House will be located at the Golden Gate Fields Horse Race Track!

Golden Gate Fields Horse Race Track!

Not only is there plenty of room for the biggest bouncy house in the world, but you and the other parents can place your bets and cheer on the jockeys while your kids are busy losing those pesky baby teeth!

And with your winnings, you can save up to buy little Johny more teeth.  That’s what Micheal Scott would call a, “Win, Win, Win.”


The Big Bounce America 

The 2023 tour is bringing the most action-packed experience of the year to Berkeley, CA for three weekends beginning on Saturday, July 15th through Sunday, July 30th at Golden Gate Fields. Featuring The World’s Largest Bounce House, The Big Bounce America is the biggest touring inflatable event in the world and includes four massive inflatable attractions: a 16,000 sq. foot World’s Largest Bounce House; the newly added Sport Slam featuring a customized sports arena; the incredible 900+ ft. long obstacle course named The Giant; and a unique, space-themed wonderland called airSPACE. The Big Bounce America continues to turn up the wow-factor on family-friendly entertainment!

WHERE AND WHEN:

Golden Gate Fields

1100 Eastshore Hwy

Berkeley, CA 94710

Saturday, July 15th; Sunday, July 16th – Tickets

Friday, July 21st; Saturday, July 22nd; Sunday, July 23rd – Tickets

Friday, July 28th; Saturday, July 29th; Sunday, July 30th – Tickets


If you are now asking yourself, “Is this real?”  Or “Is this just satire?”
The answer is, “yes.”
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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managing editor and co-owner of this little expiriment. I enjoy covering Bay Area News as well as writing about Arts, Culture & Nightlife.

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