The Michelin Guide just dropped its 2021 Michelin Star ratings, and 31 San Francisco restaurants got at least one star. You cannot afford to eat at the vast majority of these restaurants. But you can afford a few of them! If you want to take a date for a fabulous

Let me begin by clarifying: when I say “cheap dates”, I do not mean people. Any guy who clicked on this in hope of discovering a list of people who wear panties with easy access labels, stop reading. Go hold open some doors or reach stuff off top shelves and

As 2024 winds down, we’re reflecting on another incredible year of sharing the stories, art, culture, and nightlife that make the Bay Area so unique. BrokeAssStuart.com wouldn’t be what it is without you—our community of readers, supporters, and believers in independent media. This year, instead of asking you to join Patreon

I hate Valentine’s Day. Sure, I’m a hopeless romantic who usually spends every February 14th alone doing Jell-O shots in my chaise while eating bacon-fried bacon and masturbating to re-runs of Breaking Bad, but I retain the comfort of knowing Internet Girlfriend will never leave nor punch me in the face. The real reason

People frequently mistake me for being gay. Certainly much more than they mistake me for being a comedian. But despite the fact that I studied theater in college while working at the Gap, living in the co-ops and sucking dick on the side for money, I am neither gay nor bisexual.

I’m not the first and certainly won’t be the last person to write about the importance of male penis size, but hey, dick talk be making it rain hella page views up in this server. Plus, in the wake of the recent size scandal at Subway, it seemed as good

Last week I was given a tour of the Kink.com (NSFW) studios, housed at the San Francisco Armory. If you’re not familiar with Kink, they’re an online porn production company specializing in BDSM and niche categories. I learn by doing, so you can imagine my disappointment when I found out that the tour wasn’t

You’re smart, sexy, and sophisticated. And cheap. Anyone would be thrilled to date you, which is why you don’t need to empty your pockets for someone else – in fact  leave those hands in those pockets because you’re going to take yourself out on a five-finger date. Whoever said that

Like many San Franciscans, I am exceptionally poor. As in I’m on Food Stamps poor. As in I had to ask the cashier to void my transaction when I found out Carl’s Jr. couldn’t accept my Food Stamps poor, which was awkward for both me and my date (to be