Remember that ad for herpes medication with the woman in a canoe announcing ‘I have genital herpes’ on a mountain lake? Or this CITI Bank ad where professional climbers put their gear on a credit card? We’re supposed to believe that these are the faces of adventure: good looking white people

For not being a real actress or singer (I just annoy people by singing the songs in my head and re-creating dramatic scenes from Star Wars), I have an oddly extensive knowledge of musical theater. No, this is not a pissing contest, I know you also love Cats. I simply