How is it that the holidays can never come soon enough and always last longer than they should? 2017 is off to a fresh start, and that means new year’s resolutions. For some, a break from boozy drinks is the best way to begin the next trip around the sun. Moderation is always the best policy, but for those who enjoy the occasional barley-pop, the heart of winter offers some excellent ways to indulge.

Half of the fucking U.S. is covered with snow and we’re still going to ‘Spring forward’ this weekend. March 8 is the earliest date we’ve ever transitioned into Daylight Saving Time, and that’s bullshit. How in the fuck can we “Spring forward” when it is not yet even Spring? In

A Big Change to This Year’s Voter Guide We’ve been doing voter guides for a really long time. I’m pretty sure we put our first one out in like 2010 or something. And I know that thousands of you rely on our voter guides to help you make decision. But

If your nipples aren’t bleeding yet, I would assume that you are not human. I can understand, however, the physical dexterity you possess, which prevents blood from leaking out of your tightly erect nipples, if you answer to the names Mr. Freeze, Queen Elsa of Arendelle, Princess Anna of Arendelle,

  It’s the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition’s largest party of the year! Join over a thousand bike-loving buddies in an evening of festivities,food, music, and bottomless beverages. Enjoy the fabulous local art auction, score a new bike and bid on items donated by your favorite bike-supporting businesses. This fun celebrations raises valuable funds for

I don’t know about you but this Polar Vortex is fucking with my livelihood, my health, and my basic human functionalities. It has rendered me virtually immobile. It’s not that I’m using the bitter cold temperatures and the unpredictable blitzkriegs of snow as an excuse to lie around my apartment

Despite the calendar that indicates that spring is arriving this week, New York is clutching on to winter as tight as Times Square tourist holds on to his wallet. All this recent slushy snow and ass-whooping wind that bounces off the city’s concrete and creeps through my layers of goose

Since I’m not equipped to quantum leap into the tropical Caribbean warmth, nor will I shell out the dough for a pricey health club, I turn elsewhere for warmth on days like today, with the temperature in the teens and an icy wind ready to whip at your eyeballs and

Like most people that live in Portland right now, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “the sky is grey, everything is grey, the choices I make get perpetually worse every year, my life is going nowhere, I want to die, is there someone available to take care of