FREE and Low-Cost Healthcare in San Francisco!

Stuart is not a doctor but he plays one on the Internet

Stuart is not a doctor but he plays one on the Internet

Where can you find the best FREE and low-cost healthcare in the City?

Zeitgeist: The perfect place to go if your medical condition involves an abnormally low blood-alcohol level.

Healthy San Francisco: For every other medical condition, try Healthy San Francisco, Gavin Newsom’s baby, the quote-unquote innovative health access program that, HOLY FUCK, is actually innovative. I had no idea politicians could possibly enact change. Like, I mean, really do it. Not just, you know, talk about it and get in pissing matches with the other team.

Healthy San Francisco is FREE and low-cost healthcare open to all San Francisco residents who have been uninsured for at least 90 days, make less than $54,150/year—which holds true for basically all you fuckers, I bet—and who are ineligible for other programs like Med-Cal or Healthy Families. I have no idea what the fuck those things are. I don’t have a family. All I’ve got is a dog. And he doesn’t even like me. Just kidding. Lazer fucking loves me. If you try to pet Lazer, though, he’ll fuck you up, which really isn’t all that big of a deal because you can get FREE and low-cost healthcare from Healthy San Francisco. If you qualify.

Oh, you’ve also gotta be between the ages of 18-64. Apparently 65-year-olds can fuck off and die, as far as San Francisco is concerned. Who knows. Fine print isn’t my speciality. But I do know a thing or two about Healthy San Francisco. Like the fact that you can get MAJOR FUCKING SURGERY for $100 (or potentially $0 or at most $200). You know how much surgery would cost if you had private insurance? Or no insurance at all? Neither do I but I bet it’s more than your average weekend bar tab.

[BTW if your average weekend bar tab is $100 you're either a sucker or an alcoholic.]

It’s not just for surgery, though. It’s for regular everyday doctor blah blah blah also. Like medications. And, um, prescription medications can be free also. The specifics depend on where exactly you fall on the sliding scale but do yourself a favor and learn more about one of the awesome things our mayor has done for San Francisco. Who knows. Maybe it’s the only awesome thing Gavin Newsom has done? I don’t really follow politics. I’m too busy judging people with $100 bar tabs.

Share This Page

About the author

Web Admin

9 Comments

  1. Laurel says:

    Dewey,

    While I dig your post, I am very offended by the picture. It reminds me of the awful right-wing racists in our nation who are calling Obama a Joker and selling goods with that picture or similar ones on it to humiliate the President. It reminds me of black face in reverse. Finally, it reminds me of Heath Ledger’s last role and it was such a shame that he died.

    Laurel

  2. Joel says:

    The reason people 65+ aren’t covered is because they should already be covered by Medicare. The purpose of this program was to extend healthcare coverage to those under 65 who are too young. Also, I strongly agree with Laurel that the picture is horrifically offensive. This is something I would expect from a Christian terrorist like Michael Savage or Glenn Beck but not from a liberal San Franciscan. As a fan of your site, please, change it.

  3. I can’t speak for Dewey, but I’m pretty sure that, by using this particular photo, he’s referencing the idiocy and racism behind the hard right wing ideology that is spurring that side of the healthcare debate. I think Dewey is making fun of those motherfuckers by using their own stupid imagery.

    That’s how I interpreted it, but I like I said, I can’t speak for Dewey.

  4. Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource Analyst says:

    I think it’s pretty clear Obama is supposed to look like the Joker, not white face. If it was the exact same picture but with George Bush, no one would even think twice. As a negro myself, I didn’t take this as racist one bit. The president just happens to be black right now, and I think he shouldn’t be spared of any smearing because of that. He’s still a politician. In my opinion, there is definitely such thing as too P.C. and these racial suggestions kind of sound like poppycock to me.

  5. Little of column Stuart, little of column Ryan.

  6. Laurel says:

    Well, Ryan, it is Obama and not George Bush, and the imagery was originated by racists and makes Obama look like a total dimwit which is outrageous. This is not poppycock and I have never been particularly PC. Just because you do not perceive it as racism, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t. In my opinion, the right wing types are smearing him because he is a negro, not just because they don’t like his politics. For example, someone made a comment to me the other day that he doesn’t care for Obama – that it’s like a bad Bill Cosby Show day in and day out. Sheesh. That is where I think many right wingers are coming from. I lived in the South 20 years and have seen how invidious their conversations and activities are. As far as my reference to black face and Health Ledger, those are just my own associations which further make the picture distasteful.

    Of course you guys are the journalists and I am not, but it would be nice if you were a little more sensitive to the folks that find this imagery disrespectful and abhorrent. In my opinion, the picture is not in the same spirit of the article with which it is associated or with Stuart’s totally hilarious and informative website.

    I was hoping (like Joel) that the picture would have been changed by now. Take care all.

  7. David says:

    Who gives a shit about the picture. Do any of you even know how the healthcare is being paid for? Its in taxes that everyone pays if you visit sf. If you eat dinner or buy something in sf you are paying for this healthcare, but its only available to sf residents. For a city with so much revinue from tourist that’s fucked up and wrong. I live close to sf and if I go there and get hurt, even though I spent a shit load of money in sf, and that means I’m the one paying for the healthcare, I’m not covered. its bullshit!!

  8. Kitty says:

    I have looked at the website for healthcare but it keeps saying that the employers must make a contribution before one can be accepted, so does that mean that the unemployed will not be eligible? Or people whose employers will not be making these contributions??
    ~K.

  9. Not sure exactly. Try contacting them and finding out.

Leave a Comment