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A Prayer to St. Patrick

St Patrick

Dear St. Patrick,
Please let me go somewhere fun on YOUR DAY.
Please let me eat some of that awesome corned beef and cabbage that I love!
Please let me find my green face makeup and shamrock necklace in my apartment somewhere.
Please let my friends agree to go to that place that serves green beer.
Please don’t let me get too drunk on St. Patty’s day.
Please let me find someone to make out with at the bar.
Please let it be a nice Irish man.
Please don’t let me seem too desperate.
Please let him ask me to go home with him.
Please don’t let him have a twin bed.
Please don’t let him pass out while I am giving him a BJ.
Please don’t let me cry myself to sleep.
Please let me remember to set my alarm.
St. Patrick, please let me sneak out of his apartment before he wakes up.
Please let me have time to stop off at my apartment before work.
Please let me find something in the hamper to wear reasonably fast.
Please let me remember to put on deodorant.
Please let me get to the office on time.
Please don’t let my boss smell alcohol on my breath.
Please don’t let them think I am a lush.
Please don’t let me find out the guy I hooked up with be the temp in my office.
Please don’t let him strike up a conversation when he doesn’t recognize me.
Please don’t let him confide in me that he slept with a tramp the night before.
Please don’t let him say she was terrible at giving BJs.
Please don’t let me turn red from embarrassment.
Please don’t let him slowly begin to recognize my face.
Please don’t let a look of pity cross his face.
Please don’t let that big meeting still be in the afternoon.
Please don’t let me throw up during the meeting on the poster board presentation.
Please don’t let me get fired.
Please don’t let me have to pack up all my belongings in a brown box with no lid.
Please don’t let people frown at me as they see my bottle-opener collection in the box
Please don’t let me have to walk by the temp on the way out.
Please don’t let me drop off my phone number on the temp’s desk when I walk by.
Please don’t let me drown my sorrows at ten dollar all-you-can-drink-draft beer night at John Street Bar & Grill.

Amen.
Thursday all you can drink-$10

John Street Bar & Grill
17 John St.
[Financial District]
www.johnstreet.com

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Christine Witmer - Sparing Stringer

Christine Witmer - Sparing Stringer

Christine was born and raised in the land of the Pilgrims, Plymouth, Massachusetts. She turned in her buckled shoes when she moved to NYC to attend NYU. From that esteemed University she received her BFA in theatre as well as a Master's Degree in Performance Studies in 2004.
Now an actor, writer and broke ass day-jobber, Christine juggles her many personas with the elegance of a red panda. specifically the one in the Prospect Park Zoo . . . soooooo cute! She can be found most often in her own habitat on the Northside of Williamsburg, Brooklyn.