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A Cheapass Guide for Broke-Ass Bridesmaids

It all starts with the call. “WE’RE ENGAGED!” You’re happy they’re finally tying the knot, stoked to hear how he proposed, and touched to have been immediately asked to be her maid of honor (as if anyone else really stood a chance..pfff!)

I would say it takes about 1 month for you to realize you’re about to spend a shitload of money. Hey, you got off easy, the parents are throwing down at least $20k (eff that). Still, parents somehow have a replenishing bank account, while my credit card bill seems to never go down, even when I starve on homemade crap coffee instead of my liquid-crack delectable Starbucks (it’s totally worth the $40 per month). Ridding the addiction isn’t possible, so it’s time to think of other options.

Start Stalking- Pinterest and Facebook have made it very easy to stalk these days. While on a social level, this is creepy, it’s a MOH necessity to stalk your bride. On Pinterest, figure out her taste for the shower and bachelorette and tailor your plans for those parties to her pins. On Facebook, pull pics of her and her boo together, and with a little help from iMovie, you’ll have a slideshow for the shower at no cost to you.

DIY- Even the least creative minds can save money DIY-ing instead of paying for the tacky crap they try to sell for showers and bachelorettes. For the bachelorette, make yourself some real classy shit, like barf bags. And for shower, it’s not a party until poofs are present.

Don’t DIAY- While you can save a lot of loot DIY-ing, don’t DIAY… Do It ALL Yourself. Unless you have 9 arms, you’ll epically fail. Delegate off what you suck at most. For me, that’s cooking. So I asked the other BMs to bring food and booze to the shower, and voila! The buffet table was full, and the champs was poured… all without a kitchen fire or an empty wallet on my behalf.

Buy Cheap-Expensive-Looking-Stuff- Target, pronounced Tar-jay, if you pretend it’s more glorious than Neiman Marcus, like I do, will save you a crapload without looking totally chintzy. I bought $5 sale towels for bachelorette favors, my BM heels for $30 and $1 heart shaped boxes for the bridal shower. Oh and the $1 bin is the jam. In the words of Honey Boo Boo Child, a dolla makes me holla!

Work It Gurrrl- Know someone who can get you and the rest of the bachelorette party in to a Vegas club at no cost and with no lines? Have an artist friend that can help you put together a perfect wedding gift? Work your connections so you don’t have to work your wallet. I even worked my mom’s hook-ups to get cheap lavender for bridal party favors through her garden club connections. Seriously.

Hopefully these cheapass tips can help you be a bit less of a brokeass bridesmaid, but check out brokeassbridesmaid.blogspot.com if you’re still strapped for some bm-on-a-budget ideas!

This post was written by JJ Arnold, The Brokeass Bridesmaid. Here’s a bit about her:

I’m a maid of honor for TWO weddings. In order to maintain some cash in my wallet, and my sanity, I used Pinterest, Martha Stewart, and other oober girl tactics to be a kickass maid of honor without being a total brokeass bridesmaid.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".