Mistaken Identity and Sexy Stories

I’ve always been pretty convinced that I’m the only Stuart Schuffman out there.  I mean, I’ve never done any research into the subject other than googling myself (Stuart you vain vain bastard!), but I figured Stuart isn’t a very common name and Schuffman is pretty rare.  Then yesterday I got a facebook message that said:

This is your brother Howard Josepberg

Pleace may I have your phone # 

thanks HUGS Howard 610- ###-####

My first thought was, “Wow, I wonder if there’s something my dad needs to tell my mom.” But then I found out that the Stuart being searched for was born in 1953, meaning that I didn’t have any unaccounted for siblings after all.  It just means that I’m not the one and only Stuart Schuffman, which is a bummer because I had always used that as a great selling point.  I’d say things like, “How would you like to give the other half of your sandwich to me?  I am the one and only Stuart Schuffman you know.  Yup, just me.  How often in your life will you be able to say that you shared a meal with the ‘one and only’ of anything?”.  Looks like I’ll have to find a new way to get free shit.

Speaking of free shit though, I’ve got a great event for you tonight.  My man Johnny Funcheap posted this on his fantastic website Funcheapsf.com. Some of the authors from the Best Sex Writing of 2009 will be reading for FREE at The Booksmith in the Upper Haight tonight.  I know eating 40 pound of chips and dip and losing $300 on the game yesterday doesn’t make you feel very sexy, but hearing women read their sex stories is the perfect remedy for that.