Shake what ya mama gave ya, gracefully — FREE Dance classes at ODC!

My mother used to always call me “Grace” and for the longest time, I tried to get rid of the nickname. My clumsy, goofy nature used to amuse my mother to no end, and she often told my teachers that I was born with the “concentration of a fly and the grace of an elephant.” Yeah, mom, love you too.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve tried really hard to not look like a dumb-ass on the dance floor when I go out, since boozin tends to release the dancin’ animal in me. Nevertheless, I always end up tripping over someone’s messenger bag or bumping into a table '” and I still blush like i’m in the 4th grade.

If you’re in need of a right foot to replace that second left like me, The Center for Dance in The West is holding free classes until May 3rd. With everything from samba to ballroom dance, this could be a great way to get to know yourself '” or someone special '” way better. [I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. So fucking cheesy.]

Anyway, to get your hands on the free classes, all you have to do is show up. Really! Just don’t tell them I sent you. They’ll put you front and center so everyone can laugh at your ass when you go flying.

What: Free dance lessons!

Where: ODC: 351 Shotwell St. btw 17th and 18th Sts.

When: Various classes throughout the week; check the website for detailage.

Why: C’mon, dude. You need to work on those moves.