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7 Best Places To Pick Up Tourists in San Francisco

Updated: Jun 07, 2017 14:53
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This amazing drawing that sums up SF’s tourists perfectly comes from

Lets face it — you’ve wanted to go there. You’ve wanted to have your cake and eat it too. There was never a moment where you thought maybe, just maybe, it might be totally exciting to get it on with someone out of town. Think about it — you can show them your part of the city, totally know where to go for cheap and take them to your favorite dive bar. It sounds like the perfect date to me. If you’re looking for a tourist rendevous of your own, here are the top 7 places we think you should be more often…

1. Union Square
Whether they’re tripping over the homeless dude with the dog and the rat and the cat or scrambling to get a picture of the tower in the middle of the square, the tourist is easily distracted. They’re bound to run into you, and probably on purpose. But it’s the perfect opportunity to show off your wealth of city knowledge if they just happen to be cute, isn’t it?

As weird as it is, it’s still pretty impressive

2. MUNI, specifically the F Car
I know, the last thing you want is some person asking you directions over your iPhone blaring, but this is an extremely easy place to strike up a convo. Next time you’re headed to In-N-Out for a side of animal style fries, offer directions to an attractive stranger and your fries might come with a happy ending!

3. Lefty O’Doul’s [Union Square Area]
As kitschy (well awesome really) as can it be, the piano bar in Lefty O’Doul’s is always a good place to resort to for cheap drinks and cheap company. But occasionally that perfect person saunters in, orders a manhattan and you know you’re in for a good time. What’s better than drunk sing alongs for striking up a conversation with a cute stranger?

[Editor’s note: RIP Lefty’s]

Photo from Pindelski

4. Alamo Square Park [Western Addition]

Have you ever been here to lay out during the day? My roommates and I thought it would be funny to head here instead of Dolores one day. But I got asked by over 15 tourists for me to take their picture in front of the painted ladies. And most of them were girls. If there is one thing this park has, its lots of tanning girls, lots of puppies and lots of chances to get wild with a midwesterner that still thinks John Stamos has it goin on.

5. Musee Mechanique [Fisherman’s Wharf]
Nothing gets a girl going like Laughing Sal on her best day. Seriously. Nothing.

Laughing Sal is SO Creepy!

6. Dolores Park [The Mission]
Even with the onslaught of the hipster generation taking over the grasses of our fine Dolores, recent writeups in various magazines and papers have the seekers of hip flocking to the sacred grounds. It’s true that nothing can go wrong here — but it’s even better when that Sunday lay doesn’t bump into you at Zeitgeist every now and again either.

7. The Buena Vista [Fisherman’s Wharf]
Famed for their Irish Coffee recipe, it makes me sad that a place like the Vista is stuck in thi part of town. But that being said, you might as well make the trip worth it and top it off with an Irish Breakfast the next day, right?

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Monica Miller - The Intern

Monica Miller - The Intern

Ms. Miller was born in San Diego, CA to one lesbian mother and one
righteous, cheap father. Currently, she is enrolled at San Francisco
State University for a B.A. in Journalism and the approximate
completion date is around 2015. She has worked for many papers in the
Bay Area, including the Oakland Tribune and the San Mateo Country
Times and is currently the city editor at one of the most
underappreciated publications in SF, the Golden Gate [X]press. Though
she may find bargains aplenty, it only stems from the necessity of
never landing an actual job and working for hacks [like Stuart.] With
intelligence, style, poise, bite, and honesty, she will rip your heart
out; but not before writing some awesome, poignant shit. This year,
she is looking forward to bigger and better things such as: trying to
get paid for a gig, actually finding a date that isn't a loser or
fucking crazy, not calling her parents when hungover and bringing you
the best of the 7x7 everyday of the week. [By the way, I wasn't
kidding about the date thing; if you love food, booze and shoegaze,
get at me.]