Five Things You Could’ve Done This Weekend With That Extra Hour

I don't know what the hell this little guy is so happy about.

Daylight Savings Time is an annoying, outdated piece of shit. I mean, I know we all love the week after it starts when the days are longer, because drinking is so much less depressing when you get to do it outside in the sun all afternoon instead of heading inside at 4pm, and the beers are cheaper when you buy them from the cornerstore anyway. But you know what? If we didn’t have Daylight Savings Time, the days would still get longer just by, you know, the natural movement of the Earth around the sun. So, yeah, fuck daylight savings time. The worst part is that this Saturday night/Sunday morning, you lose a precious hour of  time that you already don’t have. To give you a general idea of the things you could have done with that hour, I’ve come up with this handy list:

1.) Sleep off that hangover: Obviously! I don’t know about you guys, but when I pass out in bed after a long night of drinking, I hardly even notice I slept. That’s why the key to sleeping in after a hangover is to wake-up, grab a glass of water and some advil and go back to sleep. But when you wake up thinking it’s 8am when it’s actually 9 you’re just burning those precious daylight hours you waited so long to get back.

2.) McDonald’s Breakfast: Look, I hate to break it to you, but you’re going to miss McDonald’s breakfast again. You’re probably only going there because you overslept (see point 1) and all your friends went to a real brunch at some place delicious. On the bright side, if you get there right as breakfast is ending try to get them to make you a Mc10:35 and let us know how that works out for your cardiovascular health.

The Mc10:35 - an unholy union of Egg McMuffin and McDouble

3.) Morning Sex: Nature’s hangover cure. But you missed out because (again) you overslept and now it’s almost noon and holy crap! she’s got to go! her friends are going to think she’s dead in a ditch somewhere! don’t you have an automatic alarm clock?

4.) Reading the Sunday New York Times: I’ve only done this once, but it was back in 2006 and a new Coldplay album had just come out and I couldn’t read more than half a page of that review before it ruined the whole “sitting in the sun, with a cup of coffee, reading the Sunday Times” thing for me. A lot of other people love this though (I think a white chick probably talked about it in a rom-com one time.) But! You won’t have time for that this weekend anyway, you lost that hour remember? [Note: This doesn’t apply to us in SF because no one actually likes the Chronicle and we all just sit in trendy coffee shops with our Macbooks anyway.]

5.) Catching Up On Work Before the Week Starts: Haha, just kidding! Right, guys? Just go outside and have a beer before the sun goes down again.