Things To Do At Rockaway Beach

Summer is almost over, and if you’re anything like me you’re panicking about every passing second that is not spent at the beach. Rockaway Beach is the most Broke-ass friendly of them all, in my opinion, because you don’t have to buy an LIRR ticket, so get out there. It’s already a half an hour later than it was a half hour ago!

En route

The subway ride there (J or L to Broadway Junction, then transfer to the A to Broad Channel, wait on the same platform for a shuttle) can take up to an hour and a half, so you’re going to need to entertain yourself somehow. I recommend applying fake tattoos. This way you won’t feel comparatively naked when you get to the beach and find that most people are walking around like Jesse James under their work clothes. Temporary tattoos come in many different levels of artistic awesomeness, and are also usually GLITTERY. You can buy them at Claire’s or any other store targeted to 14-year-old girls. Simply remove the plastic covering, press the sweet-looking dragon wrapped around a yin-yang sign onto an area of clean dry skin (maybe your neck? ehhh??), and apply water. Hold for 30 seconds. Don’t hurry. Voila.

Learn to surf

Rockaway has three different surf beaches, between Beach 67th – 69th Streets and 87th – 92nd Streets. The waves aren’t that intimidating and there are only a few species of shark that could potentially eat you, like, five or ten. And don’t worry if you only manage to get on your board once and then pretty much fall off right away, you’ve got the rest of the summer to master this! There can be a lot of traffic on busy days, so make sure to review the NYC parks department’s rules of paddling (I don’t know what it means to “drop in,” but if you do it, have the decency to apologize, you ahole). Or just chill on your board and wait for waves to come to you, in the case you are actually sorta afraid of the waves, like me.

Hum that Ramones song incessantly

It can’t be helped.

Eat at Rockaway Taco

Obviously. There might be a line, but it will be worth it.

Bring your guitar

It’ll be a pain to haul out there, but once the beach starts clearing out around 5, and you’ve drunk several mimosas, napped it off, woken up and started in on the vodka Red Bulls, you will really want someone to accompany you to “Rocky Raccoon”!

Clean up your shit

Every time I am in Far Rockaway, I get attacked by random trash on the wind. PLEASE do not be that person I curse when I narrowly miss stepping on a half-eaten hot dog. And don’t forget to take care of cigarette butts! They are a choking hazard for seagulls.