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I Set Up My OKCupid Profile, as a Dog: The Responses Were Pretty Hilarious.

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Last February I started an OKCupid profile as a chocolate labrador named ‘Waffles’. The profile was received with mixed reviews. Some said I was an innovator, some said I was a fraud, some wanted to scratch behind my ears, but OKCupid said “One or more of your photos was flagged by users for being inappropriate, after being reviewed and voted on by our moderators the consensus was to remove the photo(s)”.

What kind of a Nazi tribunal censors pictures of a darling puppy!? But I was not going to give up on Waffles, this had grown from being a simple joke, into a fight for species integration in online romance.  I set myself to wearing down OKCupid moderators by posting an endless supply of adorable doggie pictures until they got tired of removing them, and just let Waffles roam free. The idiotic results are below:

waffle profile cover 2

Now originally the entire profile was written using online dating cliches like “I’m fun and outgoing”, so that it could just as easily be describing a person as it could be describing a middle aged labrador retriever. This caused some confusion among the online community. I got messages like: “wait, is this like for a person or a fucking dog?” So I started to have more fun with it and created more canine specific answers:

proflie list

I knew that pictures are very important in online dating so I made sure to add some sweet action pics to let potential suitors know how Waffles rolls:

The Outdoor Action Shot:

lak

Education and Charity

diploma

Family is important

clinton

Waffles can be kind of a ‘bro’ at times, which for some reason is hilarious to me:

nerds

 

The messages to Waffles were 99% positive: 

compliments list

 

But every now and again there were some interesting advances from lady callers that I was not sure how to deflect.  After all, who was right for waffles? And what kind of a lady asks out a dog?  Here’s an awkward one:

awkward conversation

 

Then there were pet lovers and cat ladies who just wanted to stop in and share:

a cat named waffles

 

And there were messages I simply did not know how to answer:

taking dog thing seriously

Anyway, if you’re bored online and feel like chatting with a dog, Waffle’s online profile can still be found on OKC: http://bit.ly/1usLtLO.  If you feel like creating your own online dating profile I highly recommend it, Waffles successfully broke down species segregation in the online dating world and I encourage you to honor that sacrifice by creating a profile of a Giraffe named ‘Muffins’ or a lady water-buffalo named ‘Candy_Train86’.  Waffles hasn’t yet found love, but he definitely interacted with a whole group of lovely people he never would have found otherwise!

This week I’m sitting down with an executive in the Online dating industry to pick his brain about the industry and find out how to create the ultimate online dating experience.

 

*Special Thanks to OKCupid for breaking the species barrier and putting up with my shenanigans.  Your patience and commitment to both human & animal rights was historical and should be commended

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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managing editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. I enjoy covering Bay Area News as well as writing about Arts, Culture & Nightlife (not so much nightlife anymore).

If you're a writer, artist, or performer who would like to get your work out there, or if you've got a great product or service to promote, we've got 120k social followers and really fun ways to reach them. We make noise for our partners, and for our community. alex at brokeassstuart.com

3 Comments

  1. Claudia
    September 8, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    Thanks for making me laugh out loud,
    like a hyena,
    the guy sitting near me at this coffee shop just asked if I was ok.

  2. June 17, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Waffles may be the only one on OKC with a higher percentage of “This person no longer has an account” messages than me.

  3. Katrina
    May 31, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    I once had a lovely back-and-forth with a harbor seal on Tinder.