Disease Detecting Condoms…Designed By Teenagers

I just can’t anymore. I can’t handle the innovative concepts meant to implement safety measures on sexual behaviors. This particular new “idea” was conceived by teenagers!  The brainchild of four teenage boys that will “Make detecting harmful STIs safer than ever before. In the privacy of their own homes.” Is that what is keeping people from getting tested? The shame and embarrassment they get in a clinic or doctor’s office? Is that such a big deal for people that they chose ignorance over their health? I guess so.

To save men from the discomfort of penis swabs and blood tests, they conceptualized a new way to save people from the terrors of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. It was so impressive that they won £1,000 and a trip to Buckingham Palace from the TeenTech awards.

They came up with an idea for a condom that changes colors. Color changes depend on the particular STD that has befallen the poor schmuck who didn’t use a regular condom that one time he had sexytime and has since been afflicted with crotch cooties.

Its a horse of a different color!

A mood condom! You have the Herp? Blue. The Clap? Green. Syph? Purple. Do you see a bold hue emerging on your Crayola Beige junk jacket? DANGER! Do not proceed with the naked fun. The condom would, theoretically, have an indicator solution or compound on the latex that will attach to bacteria and viruses associated with common STIs and trigger the color change effect.

First of all this is a concept only – not an actual thought out and tested prototype. If this ever became an actual product I can predict some issues with it. Primarily the condom is used by someone, they see there is no color reaction, and then think “Hey! No color change! They don’t have any crotch cooties! I don’t need a condom!” then 9 months later they have a minion growing in their gut or they have an STD that is way worse than crabs. HIV comes to mind.

Way beyond paper mache volcanoes!

Did these students get sex-ed in their London school? It’s frowned upon in most states in the U.S. so I know our kids don’t have the facts nor are they encouraged to have open discussions about sex. How many ridiculous ideas are going to be launched through various start ups that don’t address the larger problem of sex ignorance. I’m looking at you Robocopp and Date Rape Nail Polish.

How can we change the way people think about sex? To be honest and open about the health risks and dangers with your partner or partners (hey…the more the merrier right?) Can someone host a competition for that? I’ll pitch in $20 for that Kickstarter. Being informed and proactive about sex health is the key to a LONG sex life! Teach a man to fish…you’re in for some fish taco action! Heyoo!

Is it so terrible talking to someone openly about STDs that you would rather rely on a pack of color change Walgreens condoms? No, it’s not.

(Yes. I realize I’m shitting on what is essentially a kid’s science project.)