The Hottest Trends in Bikini Waxing This Summer
We sent our writers out to scour the hippest beaches, pools & runways from around the world to find the hottest trends in ladyscaping and bikini waxing for summer 2016. Los Angeles, San Francisco, Tokyo, Ibiza, Paris, you name it.
Ibiza, Spain: The Salvador Dalí
The most popular cut in the beach party Mecca of the world is The Salvador Dalí. Long flowy tendrils waxed into an upward ark that scream, “hey, I appreciate art & sophistication”…on my vagina.” Photo taken by our Senior Spanish Correspondent Rae Bathgate.
San Francisco, CA: The “Barbara Bush”
It is the definition of hip to be counter-culture in the Bay Area. In San Francisco this summer ladies and gentlemen wore it old school and proud. The style’s name “Barbara Bush’ and sometimes ‘The Laura Bush’, are names that are both puns while maintaining an incredible air of irony considering the liberal nature of the Bay Area. Hipsters all over the city have been struggling to fit there humongous bushes inside of their skinny jeans, and all in the name of ‘keeping it hella ironic’. Photo by local politician and naturalist Stuart Schuffman.
Los Angeles: The “High Expectations”
This new design was born out of the Florida trailer park culture, and was imported into Los Angeles most likely by young porn actors. It is hot hot hot for teens, cougars, & carnies alike. Its ultimate accessory is the a tattoo explaining: “you must be THIS tall to ride” photo taken by Senior Youth Expert Emma Goyette
Seoul Korea: The ‘Tom Waits’
This heart shaped gem makes a real statement about your rock n’ roll lifestyle. In Tokyo it is referred to as the “Tom Petty”, in Korea, the “Tom Waits”, either way you are going to be crushing hearts in the far east. Tasteful photography by Senior Asian Corespondent Charles Daly
Berlin, Germany: “The Penis”
Senior Austrian corespondent and chatter box ‘Tizia’, cruised the Berlin Club scene for months and reported that “The Frankfurter” is the hottest thing on the German club circuit right now.
When we asked her why she had not submitted a ladyscaping/bikini waxing photograph she simply kept sending us drawings of penises, until we just stopped opening emails
Tampa, Florida: The “Power Mullet”
Contrary to popular belief the the power mullet or ‘french cut’ is born out of the Parisian ‘new wave’ club scene and not the backwoods of Alabama. Although there have been many sightings off the coast of Mississippi and the Florida panhandle, reports Rae Bathgate
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: The “Robber Baron”
It’s now fashionable to wear a little wax on the beaches of Copacabana. In Europe the style is called the “Lord Byron”, in New York it’s referred to as “Lumbersexual”. Whatever you call it, this throwback is being flaunted around the globe. Photo by local eccentric Alex Mak who insisted we label this photo a “Selfie”.
Our reporters personally examined hundreds of crotches around the world for this investigative report on world crotch fashion. And although they reported on breaking trends and styles, we must admit that the ‘hairless’ style or ‘Hollywood wax” or the “Sinead O’Connor” is by far the most popular trend going right now.
Are you wearing a ladyscaping style we missed here? If so, please do not send us any pictures of your crotch, we are really, really, tired of looking at crotches. But please feel free to describe your style in the comments section. Cheers!
– Team Broke-Ass