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11 Workshops You Can Take at the Republican National Convention

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image from Salon.com

Well it’s finally upon us. The national gathering of Rich Old White Men. After feeding the hate machine for so long by convincing working class white people that Black/Muslim/Mexican/Gay/etc people are the real reason they aren’t millionaires, the Republican Party has managed to unleash a monster that can’t put back in the cage.

That’s right, this week is the Republican National Convention where the Greedy Old Party will be officially nominating a tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing, shitgibbon as their presidential candidate. Jesus Christ…I can’t believe people are really gonna vote for Donald Trump.

Anyways, here are some of the excellent and informative workshops you can take if you attend the Republican National Convention:

 

* Explaining All Lives Matter to Your Black Friend

all-lives-matter

image from Traceyville

* Convincing Poor White People They Have the Same Interests as Rich White People

* Gun Safety for Toddlers

* How to Use a Gender Neutral Bathroom

* Time Management 101: How to Find Time to Campaign for Trump While Working 3 crappy, part-time jobs to make ends meet

* How to Build Massive Walls Using Other People’s Money

* Because We Know Better: How Men Can Prevent Women from Getting Abortions (and not have to use condoms!)

* Logo Design For Beginners

trump-pence-logo

* Jesus, Capitalism and Reinterpreting the Bible to Fit

* Women in the Workplace: New Challenges in Paying Them Less

* Gun Crimes, the NRA and You: Mastering the Art of Cognitive Dissonance

 

Shout out to the following members of Team BAS for coming up with these hilarious (and terrifyingly possible) workshop ideas: Sheilah Villari, Heather Robinson, Amiee Kushner, Michael Warner, Candace Cui,

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website BrokeAssStuart.com is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, Geek.com and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.