Steve Bannon’s To-do-list Found in Piggly Wiggly Parking Lot

A to-do-list of Senior Counselor to the President Stephen ‘Steve” Bannon was reportedly found in a parking lot outside of a Virginia Beach Piggly Wiggly on Tuesday afternoon.  The White House has not commented on the authenticity of list but local sources inside the parking lot are almost positive they saw Steve Bannon dropped the list before getting into his hummer and driving off.

Steve Bannon’s ‘To-Do-List’ for Valentines Day, Tuesday, February 14th.

An eye witness on the scene described the incident like this, “I’m a big Brietbart news fan, and I love me some Bannon in the morning, so when I saw him come out of the bathroom at the Piggly Wiggly, I just had to follow him.”

Bannon apparently had an armful of groceries and mistakenly dropped a piece of paper before entering his vehicle and driving off.  Eyewitnesses were quick to retrieve the ‘laundry list’, and post the photos on facebook.

Forensic Recreation of Bannon’s drive down to Virginia Beach

A cashier at Piggly Wiggly allegedly claimed Bannon had purchased a dozen roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates, a popular item on Valentines Day in Virginia Beach.  He also had a copy of Time Magazine with his own face on the cover along with a box of Chardonnay.

*this article and all of it’s contents are satirical….but just barely