AdviceComedySan Francisco

SF to Double Number of Scooters on the Streets, Oh the HORROR!

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We know that Notre Dame burned down, we know that our President is still Donald Trump, but they’ve finally gone too far.

According to sources inside City Hall…San Francisco will ‘modestly expand the number of rental e-scooters allowed on city streets with an option to eventually double the total number to 2,500 if scooter operators sign up additional low-income riders.’

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  

Starting today, Scoot and Skip, the two San Francisco startups with permits to operate here, can each add 175 scooters on the streets, which currently number 625 per company. As part of that permission, each operator must recruit at least 150 riders for a program that provides half-price ridership for low-income people.

Once either company boosts its low-income riders to 500 members, it can rent out an additional 450 scooters. If both do so, that would bring the number in San Francisco to 2,500.  It’s part of SF’s scooter pilot program, after they kicked out Lime, Byrd and all the other asshole companies that ignored all city regulations last year, the city teamed up with a couple cooperative companies to study the problem and implement e-scooters properly.

In case you’re tired of screaming, you can simply press play on this video:

Since CA passes a law last year to allow adults to ride e-scooters without a helmet, you bet there is going to be a small spike in rider injuries in the city.  E-scooter riders do have a problem with not wearing helmets, riding on sidewalks, and not stopping at stop signs.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?  HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The city is asking Scoot and Skip to implement processes for resolving safety complaints and educate riders on the ban of sidewalk riding.

Tom Maguire, SFMTA director of sustainable streets told the Chronicle, “We’re really encouraged that over 40 percent of riders said if not for scooters, they would have driven or taken Uber or Lyft — that’s a direct shift from cars encouraging pollution to a much more low-impact form of travel.”

FUCK OUR LIVES!!!! IT”S ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

So…expect to see an increase in nerdy white guys, riding e-scooters on the sidewalks San Francisco, and seeing the annoying things on street corners, and locked to things….and get out while you still can…

For a bit more info see the original article at SF Gate.

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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

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