Apparently Concord, California Is America’s Happiest City

Concord, California On A Map

The media and the San Francisco Bay Area have a complicated, if not tumultuous relationship. There are countless articles, studies and ‘hot takes’ about why people should leave the Bay Area, and California as a whole, behind.  They cite issues such as crime, homelessness and high tax rates as examples of why the Golden State is losing its glow.

Youtube is filled with videos showing both the Bay Area and L.A. in negative lights.

These critiques aren’t limited to the far-right corners of cable television or the internet, as respected, dare I say intellectual, left-leaning publications, such as The Atlantic, have called San Francisco a “failed city” in an article that circulated widely on the internet and even got a mention by one of my favorite comedians, Tim Dillon. Not long after that article surfaced, another article, this time by Time Magazine, came out and listed San Francisco as one of the greatest cities in the world. The New York Times later echoed the same sentiment.

Youtube is filled with videos showing both the Bay Area and L.A. in negative lights. You have viral clickbait telling you California is over and to go to Austin, Texas or wherever else is taking boatloads of frustrated California expatriates. I say expats because, like I said in one of my tweets, we’re kind of a fucking country.

That’s not to say Concord doesn’t have some undeniably good qualities, because it does.

If all this doom and gloom is to be believed, then how is it that California cities like Concord, a fairly large San Francisco suburb, be considered the happiest place in America? Because it’s all bullshit. All of these city lists and their corresponding articles that claim states and cities are failing or succeeding are complete fucking clickbait garbage. The Atlantic and its superior, the New Yorker, have devolved into clickbait for people with college degrees that believe voting blue makes them good. It’s not that different than the Wall Street Journal writing articles for the few conservatives who pretend to know how to read.

That’s not to say Concord doesn’t have some undeniably good qualities, because it does. Concord’s direct view of Mount Diablo; especially after it rains when the East Bay’s famous mountain is covered in gorgeous green grass, is breathtaking. The food scene on Monument Blvd in the primarily Latino Four Corners neighborhood is just as good as the food in San Francisco’s Mission District or Oakland’s Fruitvale District. Concord is well connected to public transportation, the city’s two BART stations make getting to SF a breeze. It’s also only a 15 minute drive to Oakland or Berkeley if traffic’s not bad. Concord is hella underrated for what it is. So, you know, rep your shit, 925.

Is it the happiest city in America, though? Fuck no!

Nowhere is. There is no happiest city and these lists are fucking stupid. All of them are based on economic stats, which, as we all know. the economy changes on the emotional whims of the wealthy. Or the lists are based on anecdotal bullshit. This particular study was based on findings from an algorithm that scanned selfies and whichever city had the most people smiling in the selfies was crowned the happiest city. Very scientific.  Either way, there is no way to measure the best or worst city anywhere.

Cities are just economic arrangements and the city you’re in is as happy as you are.

And if you’re not happy, nowhere you go will be either.