Doom Loop

04 Jun 2024

Why Juggalos Are San Francisco’s Last Hope

San Francisco foolishly entrusted their future with Skrillex, and he FAILED. I’m kidding, the Skrillex show went fine. I’ve been trolling his fans all week. I don’t think Skrillex will save the city. But fret not, San Francisco. The ‘doom loop’ won’t last forever, and I know exactly how to

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord 0
26 May 2024

Mayor London Breed to Pose Devastating Budget Cuts

Facing eviction, certain people will soil and vandalize the property they occupied as a last word to their landlord. They rip copper pipes from walls, scratch and pit the floor, break windows and toilets. We’ve all heard stories of vengeful tenants smearing feces on walls. It’s a rotten thing to

Jake Warren 0
10 Jul 2024

This New Literary Magazine is a Gift to the People of San Francisco

I’ve got some awesome news! We received a grant from the Civic Joy Fund to put out a literary magazine celebrating SF and acting to counter the stupid “Doom Loop” narrative. It’s a gift to the people of San Francisco. And after months of working on this project it’s now available

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
21 May 2024

Craigslist Post Looks For “Fit Woman” To Run Banned Bookstore For Nudists In Union Square

Are you a fit, fame-driven woman with dreams of sneaking bibles into Saudi Arabia while being butt naked? Well, if so, boy, do I have the gig for you!  Okay, the ad doesn’t explicitly say ‘nakedness,’ but it certainly seems like something George would be behind. Local nudist and former

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord 0
08 Apr 2024

Bring Back Trespassing, For San Francisco’s Sake

The #sfdoomloop is a media dogpile that feels at times like a character assassination. The story going around is the city is dead or dying. With local politicians vying for tech and other profitable industries to (re)invest, it seems that way. Tech is never coming back, and these uninspired bids

Jake Warren 0
27 Feb 2024

Macy’s in Downtown San Francisco is Closing…and it Was Totally Predictable

It was announced on Tuesday morning that Macy’s would be closing 150 “underproductive” stores nationwide. Shortly afterwards the news broke that the Macy’s in downtown San Francisco would be one of the casualties. We all know that there’s going to be a lot of public handwringing and teeth gnashing about

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
09 Jan 2024

The Adidas Store Is Closing In San Francisco

San Francisco has seamlessly transitioned from the tech capital of the world to a clout pinata for click farming. Every single media organization on the planet announces the death of every unnecessary chain store to shut its doors downtown as if it’s an obituary to a beloved humanitarian.  From the

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord 0
02 Jan 2024

Why Is Everyone Making A Big Deal Out Of The London Breed Diss Track?

San Francisco has a long, rich and storied history of shitting on its elected officials. So, why did a London Breed diss track that didn’t even go viral on its own from an unknown rapper in Chinatown create such a shitstorm?  Which is a fair question because within a day

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord 0
28 Nov 2023

Why No One Went To Union Square On Black Friday

Fentanyl didn’t kill Downtown San Francisco. It killed people, but prior to the Pandemic, no one seemed to mind. They’d just walk over the bodies on their way to the office. Some people complained while others felt the juxtaposition of prosperity and poverty was what made urban life exhilarating. The

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord 0