Since I have the good fortune of constantly receiving emails from fun, sexy, and underage strangers bombarding me with “Great deals!” and “Discount Cruises,” and I almost never take them up on their altruistic offers, I thought I would share some of the great ideas sent my way! Although I have never opened one of these emails, they are automatically routed into a separate folder tastily named “SPAM,” which must mean they are great ideas because SPAM is such a delicious and versatile food, and nothing bad could ever come from a folder called SPAM! Therefore, you should try any or a combination of these if you’re feeling down in the dumps and/or bored. These sound like great activity ideas, and I would like to take this opportunity to thank whoever signed me up for these nifty mailing lists! Have fun, kids!
Tire and Oil Change Coupons
For the car that I don’t have.
For the penis that I don’t have.
Find Top Quality Tire Coupons Now!
Did I not just say I have no car?
Donate A Vehicle To Your Favorite Charity
Are you not listening to me?!?
Take Out A Loan! Offer Expires At Midnight!
Check Anyone’s Arrest Record Online Instantly!
This sounds disturbingly fun.
Is Your Wallet Feeling A Little Light?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Say Goodbye To Depression
Melt Fat With Coffee Beans!
For what??? I don’t know, but I am excited!
Need A New Wheelchair Lift? Check These Out!
Rent Due? No Food? We Can Help!
Yes, yes, and tell me how immediately!
Stop Alcoholism, Start A New Life
Wait, maybe this is a sign…
Get Some Help To Get Back On Your Feet
Does it involve twelve steps?
Time To Eat Some Sushi On A Rooftop
Photo Credit: paypervisitemail.com