Love/Sick: Taylor Swift, I Wish I Knew How To Quit You

An open letter and part one of Freddie Cosmo’s Love/Sick series running all month long.

Dear Taylor,

I wish I could apologize for all that I’ve put you through but I can’t do that because I’m not sorry. Love hurts sometimes,T-swizzle. It sucks and it’s hard and it sucks hard and now it’s the dead of winter and I just… I need you. If we were together, just think about how good I would be at spending your money.

You and I, we’ve just been through so much together, but after this California red I realized that you’re kind-of-maybe the one for me at least until the summertime or as I like to call it, “Thot Season”. I need you almost as much as I need to masturbate when I wake up in the morning, I mean, you’re totally like a close second third to that at the very least. Please don’t take that the wrong way, of course I’ll stop masturbating  still masturbate when we’re finally together, I’ll just wait until you take a shower.

Valentine’s Day is coming up… I just can’t be alone this year. All the red velvet Oreos at my nearest C-Town won’t fill the void in my heart. So that’s why I wrote you this song. I mean I totally get why you blocked me on Instagram, I was being so fucked up towards you that day, will you accept my apology in the form of ‘trap muzik’?

I can only hope that the marriage between your name and this trap beat somehow become a foreshadowing for our future relationship.

Taylor Swift, I wish I knew how to quit you.

Love always,

Freddie Cosmo (Since 1986)

Photo credit: The Guardian