This Week’s Interesting News

People in America Enjoy Lesbian Porn

Courtesy of PornHubInsights

The fine, fine folks of Pornhub tapped into their user data to find out what the most popular search term was for each state in the US. Lo and behold, “lesbian” came out on top for 30 states, proving once again that Americans enjoy sex between the same gender only if it’s hairless and completely fake. It’s almost as if we as a nation grew uncomfortable with seeing veiny meat sticks. Is the decline in male-centric porn conversely correlated to the rise in dick pics sent? I’d like to see the data on that. The amount of “step-sister” and “step-mom” searches might be uncomfortable, if not entirely unsettling, though.

Homeless People Get the Shit End of the Stick…Again

Courtesy of ABC7News

In other dick-less moves, the homeless population of SF’s SOMA was cleared out on Tuesday. After the debacle that was the Super Bowl and the ambiguous intentions of the Pier 80 shelter, a new team of city workers, police officers, and garbage trucks rolled through to shuffle people out and their things into the trash. I walked through this happening outside my office and could only replay in my mind the endless griping of one particular startup CEO who had plenty of complaints about homelessness but didn’t have the wherewithal to use his resources in search of a solution that didn’t involve hiding the tents. I wish it weren’t so inevitable that we experience this more and more.

Period Cramps Can Hurt as Much as Heart Attacks

Courtesy of IntelligentHealth.Info

Unnecessary pain is also the name of the game in this Quartz article that shocked no woman alive, because it turns out we weren’t lying: cramps hurt like a motherfucker. For every missed school day or “home sick” from work excuse, there is now medical knowledge to back up the need to stay in bed forever and eat soup. Additionally, for every man who compares cramps to getting the occasional kick in the balls, let’s be honest that you probably deserved that for something stupid you did. All women did to deserve cramps were getting tapped by the vagina fairy. Of course, to some Republicans, that’s enough.

There are More Single Ladies Than Ever

Image courtesy of Queen Bey

Speaking of ladies, turns out there are fewer unmarried women than ever in our history. Obviously, this makes sense if we know that marriage is happening later in life and the desire to stay childless is increasingly more acceptable in modern society. I, however, could have told you that based solely upon the horrible dating stories every woman in SF has told me. If the consequence of a terrible romantic life is a congregation of incredibly well-rounded and independent females living out cool lives…I think there are worse scenarios.

Millenials Don’t Get Paid for Shit

Courtesy of the Center for American Progress

It isn’t all great though. According to the Center for American Progress, all you young, broke & beautiful people are going to be staying that way for a while. Apparently, 30 year-olds now make about as much as 3o year-olds in 1984 and chances are that it’s not a living wage in most major cities. Now, can anyone think of a city where not getting paid enough to actually rent a home and eat food may present a problem? Don’t all raise your hands at once. In good (?) news, some of you can stop complaining about how your fancy degree didn’t end up panning out for a higher salary, because the report indicates that you’d be getting way way way less. Except, of course, when you factor in student loans.