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AT&T Park Renamed With New Terrible Corporate Name

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The San Francisco Giants’ ballpark is getting its fourth different name in 18 years, and you better believe it will once again be named after a horrible corporation. The San Francisco Chronicle broke the news around 6 p.m. Wednesday night that AT&T Park is being renamed Oracle Park, and they’ll be changing the neon signs starting today. Reuters reports that Oracle is paying $200 million over 20 years, which seems low considering that 20 years from now $200 million will be about one month’s rent in San Francisco.

The Wikipedia page for AT&T Park has already been updated, but the AT&T Park Twitter account is still unchanged. The Oracle Park Twitter account seems to belong to someone in South Korea who has not tweeted since 2012, so it’s going to be hilarious to see how that plays out.

There was also Twitter drama for the Seagull of AT&T Park Twitter account and its 10,000 devoted followers. The poor seagull, who has been tweeting about stealing your garlic fries for years, has currently changed its name to “The ‘Identity Crisis Gull.'” But the individual (bird?) behind the account has quickly secured the @OracleSeagull account so we’re all set with avian ballpark parody Twitter accounts for now. 

The place opened in the year 2000 under the name Pac Bell Park, but we always called it “Pack Bowl Park” because it’s one of the weed-smokingest venues in Major League Baseball. It changed its name to SBC Park in 2004 when Pac Bell got gobbled up by a larger corporation, and then to AT&T Park the following year when SBC Communications got gobbled up by a larger corporation.

Oracle has been the corporate name behind the Golden State Warriors’ Oracle Arena in Oakland since 2006, but of course the Warriors are moving to San Francisco after this season. That new arena will have the shitty name Chase Center. So Oracle has the privilege of getting their shitty name on a big sports venue, and presumably Oracle Arena in Okaland will presumably not be named Oracle Arena for much longer.

Which makes it feel like Oakland is the real winner in this deal.

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.