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‘Cats’ Coughs up a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes, Reviews are HILARIOUS

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Feline getting tortured for 2 hours?  The CGI film adaption of ‘Cats’ that cost $95 million to make, is an uncanny valley full of cat puns, celebrities in weird computer fur, and horrific plot choices according to most film critics. British director Tom Hooper, who previously turned the stage musical Les Misérables into a 2012 movie, has now turned Cats into something nearly every critic lapped up and then promptly spat out like an unwanted hairball.  The reviews of this film were so funny to read, and so full of cat puns and snark, that reading the reviews, presumably, is a lot more fun than watching the movie, which according to experts is worse than eating used kitty litter for 102 minutes.  Here are some of the best lines from critics and links to their articles, god bless them,,,

“Forget worst movie of the year: “Cats” is the biggest disaster of the decade, and possibly thus far in the millennium. It’s “Battlefield Earth” with whiskers.” 
Adam Graham, Detroit News Film Critic

Taylor Swift…as a cat

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“I adopted two lovely stray cats while living in Berlin. After I took them to the vet to be neutered, they returned with upset stomachs due to the anesthetic used. I left them alone for a few hours while I went to the supermarket – when I came back, in either a random tragedy or a deliberate act of feline revenge – one of them had managed to direct his explosive diarrhea all over the bottom shelf of my bookcase.” 
Hannah Woodhead, Little White Lies

“Director Tom Hooper has form with musicals, I’ve only just recovered from his 2012 adaption of Les Miserables, and now he’s returned to terrorize me again with this.”

Chris Hunneysett, Daily Mirror

“The dialogue is full of cheap cat puns—“Look what the cat dragged in!” “Cat got your tongue?” “Don’t mess with a crazy cat lady!”—but little true wit. – This part-people, part-pussycat, faux-feline Hollywood hairball is a me-ouch.”

Neil Pond, Parade Magazine

“Meow. Well, I suppose the appropriate term here is woof. “Cats,” the adaptation of the smash Broadway musical, is a real dog.”

Joey Magidson Hollywood News

“Cats is a harrowing experience where happiness goes to die. It’s so unfathomably weird and nonsensical that it’s miserable.”
By Preston Barta,  Denton Record Chronicle

Checkout even more links to reviews at Rotten Tomatoes!

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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managing editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. I enjoy covering Bay Area News as well as writing about Arts, Culture & Nightlife.

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