ALL ABOUT OUR HOT-ASS WRITERS

  • Brandi Jarath – Miss Parsimony

    Brandi Jarath started her credit counseling business after years of giving credit and financial advice to friends and family. She has 15 years of experience in credit and finance and has held positions in the accounting, mortgage, and banking fields. She donates her services to victims of domestic violence and low-income women.

    Read more
  • Alison Lambert – Half Price Headliner

    Ali was born and raised in the Wholesome/Creepy capital of the world, Salt Lake City, UT. Once she was old enough to blow that pop stand she escaped to the place that was the anti-SLC: The Peoples Gay-public of Drugifornia aka San Francisco (holla 30 Rock!). You can now find her throughout this glorious city slurping Pho and scheming with her best friend Pinky doing what they do every night; try and take over the world.

    Read more
  • Christy Jovanelly – Cheapskate Commentator

    When Christy announced she was leaving her family's Southern California home and moving to San Francisco, her mom said, "Have fun in that den of sin." This is the only (however sarcastic) advice Christy has ever taken from her mom, who also told her to join eharmony.com and cover her eyes during sex scenes in movies. Christy puts her creative writing degree to good use by locating the typos on Chinese food menus and spends most of her time challenging friends to all-you-can-eat contests and trying to get that one bartender at Zeitgeist to smile.

    Read more
  • Mia Di Pasquale – Scroungy Scribbler

    Mia is a nice Italian girl from an exotic Italian colony called New Jersey.  She studied English Literature and Screenwriting at Drexel University in Philadelphia and has no intention of ever being a teacher.  Instead, she produces low-budget films with her crew/friends, one of which actually won a contest hosted by AMC and judged by Mr. Robert (Rob) Zombie.  She currently lives and loves in beautiful Oakland, California, which, she maintains, is just as great as and even sunnier than San Francisco.

    Read more
  • Dan Cerruti – 99 Cent Store Cowboy

    I've lived in New York all my life, and been a cheap ass for longer.

    Read more
  • Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource Analyst

    Ryan Miller was raised in a small, quaint village named Portland, Oregon before spontaneously packing two suitcases, scrounging up $300 and catching a flight to San Francisco. Judging from his garbage, he is a connoisseur of Sun Chips and rather inexpensive wine. His personal goals are to refrain from hailing and accepting rides in random cars as well as greatly reduce the amount of hugs he provides for the homeless community. While touring Jamaica and prompted for his opinion on the prevalence of TB in third world countries, Miller eagerly asked, "They have Taco Bell here?"

    Read more
  • Patrick Poelvoorde – Hedonist Barkeep

    Originally hailing from various hitching posts and one-horse towns throughout the Midwest, at 20 Patrick took a leap of faith and bounded westward. But, unlike in the movie industry, he took a wrong turn and wound up in Phoenix where he cut his teeth pouring potables to not-so-sober college students, writing for various publications and painting his little heart out. After 9 years, he found the secret exit and ended up in San Francisco, where his brain is slowly congealing back to a normal(ish) state. Perhaps you will see him stroking down the street on his bike, looking at you with that come- hither stare or inventing new ways to drink away the pain.

    Read more
  • Andrew Dalton – Aggressive Panhandler

    Andrew is an East Coast transplant from Virginia hamming it up in San Francisco without any intention of leaving. Having worked every typical job from Bike Shop Employee to Bartender to Ad Agency Hotshot, to Dotcom Layoff he now busts his ass covering the "weird things to do" beat for gracious local audiences at SFAppeal.com and rallies the Western Addy/Lower Haight/Panhandle neighborhoods into action at AggressivePanhandler.com. His work was published in a real, paper magazine one time. One day he might even figure out how to make money from it.

    Read more