6 Places For An Afternoon Delight in San Francisco

I’m not drinking right now. I know, I must have finally fallen off my rocker, right? I’m going insane for this diet I’m on and I’m totally trying to do everything I can, but I’m still having a hard time showing off my…feathers. If you know what I’m saying. Here’s a list of some of the best places to score some noon time nookie in the city!

photo from martinkovicmilford.com

1. Ritual Roasters [Mission] The place of choice for the attractive post-dot com set, Ritual is a place to be seen while doing your work. Among the sea of Macbooks and black thin framed glasses, you’ll be make eye contact with it’s sassy clientle. Just be warned — the irony of all the wealth in this place while a dude is pushing a cart of cans out front is enough to make you cringe a little.

2. Philz Coffee [Mission] If you’re looking for a place that puts more thought into their brews than into their decor [Four Barrel, anyone?], Philz is the place to order up and strike up a conversation with a nearby neighbor. Among the snaking power cords, distressed furniture and dusty piano, you’ll find yourself easily charmed by the writers, artists, thinkers and flirts that frequent this caffeine ridden haven.

3. Cafe Du Soleil [Lower Haight] With the sassy and sullen boys and girls at the register to the employees from nearby boutiques coming in for their afternoon coffee, this is the perfect place for watching beautiful people. If you have an extra $2 spot, snag a Parisian macaroon for your mid day crush and I guarantee you’ll be whistling “Champs Elysses” on the walk home.

4. Free Admission Day at the MOMA [SOMA] Quiet, introspective, minimal and inspiring. Its an easy place to be alone, but it’s a lot funnier to joke about the plain canvases they call “modern art” these days. What the fuck is that shit about, anyway? Split a cab back to your place and remember that art openings are only designed to meet attractive people.

image from bearotic.com

5. Starbucks AKA Where To Be A Bear [Castro] If big, rough, hairy and cuddly is how you like your men, there is no excuse why you shouldn’t be scoring at the Starbucks in the Castro. Though the corporate I’m-paying-more-for-this-cup-of-coffee-than-a-gallon-of-gas air still lingers, you might be macking on more than a scone later on.

Yoga pants are so fucking hot! THey go great with organic veggies.

6. Civic Center Farmers Market [Civic Center] If adjectives like in season, farm fresh, organic, ripe and cheap tickle you randy, you need to get down to the Farmer’s Market. There is nothing hotter than a girl who just got out of yoga practice, wearing nothing but skin tight pants and a sports bra picking up a fuji apple and some kale before heading home. Impress her with your food know how and go in for the kill by offering to make dinner.