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The Best Donald Trump Pinatas in SF, Ranked

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Not all Donald Trump pinatas are created equal. The Donald Trump pinatas in the SF Mission District vary greatly in size, price and artistic integrity. A Broke-Ass Stuart Broke-Team investigative report (consisting of us looking and asking in every pinata-selling establishment on all 58 blocks of Mission Street) lists every Mission shop carrying the Donald Trump pinata, in descending order of the Trump pinatas’ awesomeness, plus their locations and prices below.

Recent media reports that Donald Trump pinatas are “big business in San Francisco” proved largely exaggerated. Most Mission pinata shops offer only the same Minion, Mermaid and Mutant Ninja Turtle pinatas they always have. Only three Mission Street shops carry Donald Trump pinatas. Each shop’s pinata is different. Here’s what each Donald Trump pinata looks like and where to find them in San Francisco. (Did we miss any? Build a wall and make us pay for it in the Comments section below!)



The ‘Trump Taj Mahal’ of Donald Trump pinatas stands five feet tall, has hands with opposable thumbs and costs $70 at Pinata Art Studio & Gallery. It’s a beauty, just look at this. Look at the biologically precise tissue paper hair, the attentive sculptural craftwork of the face. The Mexicans love me, I have no problems with the Mexicans.

Pinata Art Studio operates very irregular hours, so you’re advised to call in advance. Maybe Trump had these people whacked? (I kid! It’s all in good fun. Like when a guy says a chick had blood coming out of her “wherever”.)

Pinata Art Studio & Gallery: 4268 Mission St. (@ Silver Ave.)



At a much more affordable $29 price point, we have this four-foot, somewhat recognizable pinata version of Trump available at Discount City at 24th & Mission. Here we see an anime-inspired three-prong hairdo papier mache toupee replace the tissue hairdo for a cheaper Trump pinata that makes America great again.

Discount City: 2762 Mission St. (@ 24th St.)



Image: Matt Laroche via Twitter

San Francisco Tropical still carries the same Trump pinata as their sister store Discount City just three doors down 24th Street, but they are sold out of the original $20 Trump pinata that set off this craze. They may stock it again, but expect it to cost more next time around. It’s a winner, it’s not a loser.

San Francisco Tropical: 2768 Mission St. (@ 24th St.)

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.