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The 12 Craziest Things You’ll Find at Foods Co.

Updated: Oct 13, 2018 12:26
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Please note: This piece is not meant to make fun of the people who shop here. It’s to humorously draw attention to the unhealthy and ridiculous ways poor people are marketed to.

Incredibly strange grocery outlet Foods Co has existed here more than 10 years, offering broke-ass-friendly prices on an inexplicable array of “food” on its Stalingrad-scary shelves. But what are the most bizarre discount groceries sold at Bay Area Foods Co locations? We put the Broke-Ass I-Team on the case to explore both San Francisco Foods Co locations to find the craziest and most inexplicable groceries items on their shelves.

Or not on their shelves.

SHELVES OF ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Nothing says Stalingrad-scary at a grocery store like shelves of absolutely nothing. Bonus points for the exposed wires.  

CANS OF BEER THAT ARE NOT REALLY CANS OF BEER

Fool your friends at cookouts this summer with these tiny itty-bitty “slim cans” of Budweiser. They still come in a legit-looking 12-pack, but then you open it up and that is like four sips of beer.

HOT DOGS CALLED “FUD”

Get it? “Fud”. Cause hot dogs are not really food.

PRE-BACON WRAPPED HOT DOGS

Also not really food, but the first thing you will open up and eat when you get home from Foods Co!

CIGARETTES AT 1990s PRICES 

MINIONS PERSONAL CARE PRODUCTS

OK I believe that is actually hand soap.

No. 10 CANS OF MIXED GREENS

Nothing good ever came out of a No. 10 can.

59-CENT LUNCH 

They are called “Zap-Ems”, because they’re proud to be prepared in the microwave!

TINY SODA BOTTLES

Just 20 cents a “pop”!

OUTRAGEOUSLY CHEAP PASTA

Like, “under 30 cents” cheap.

BOLIS ICE STICKS

Ironically, the ice sticks are kept at room temperature.

‘EMERGENCY PRICE’ TOILET PAPER

You guys there are emergency times when I’m happy to find a single roll for a dollar. This is four rolls for less than a dollar.

 

What crazy shit have you seen there? Let us know in the comments.

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.