Why San Francisco ‘Doomfluencers’ Suck

It was Winston Churchill who once said “never let a good crisis go to waste,” and apparently a ton of narcissists within commuting distance of San Francisco took Winston’s advice to heart. 

I want to make something abundantly clear: San Francisco has always struggled with high rates of income inequality, homelessness and addiction. And San Francisco’s economy has historically been defined by numerous ‘boom and bust’ cycles going back to the California Gold Rush. So, with that out of the way, one is left to wonder, why the fuck the entire world is making such a big deal out of something that is largely predictable? 

It boils down to three things: Clout, clicks and politics. 

Everyone you know, everyone you see on the street, has some form of a dream that they want to pursue, but it’s hard to get people to care. I’m no different. I’m a writer who made memes as a strategy to capture an audience. I understand that sometimes you have to trick people into giving a shit, but there has to be some ethical lines you don’t cross. This isn’t an argument for political correctness in comedy. I like risque humor. I like holding authority figures accountable. I think the best comedy is edgy shit said in such a way it makes the elites uncomfortable.

It boils down to three things: Clout, clicks and politics. 

I’m talking about people who want to be famous, but aren’t creative enough to come up with a way to do it that isn’t morally reprehensible. Maybe they’re musicians, or skateboarders that want to start some kind of fake charity through a shitty clothing brand to pay for an apartment. 

Let’s call these types of people ‘doomfluencers.’ I call them this because they try to be social media influencers by constantly recording people in states of vulnerability and despair. They say they want things to get better, but I doubt that because if blight on the streets of San Francisco suddenly disappeared these guys would have nothing to talk about. These people suck but occasionally get tons of views.

‘Doomfluence’ isn’t limited to just dumb fucks with smart phones, but legacy media organizations as well. 

We all know that legacy media readership is in the toilet. The Boomer generation essentially functions as the final support pillar that keeps it afloat. 

Legacy media has certainly noticed the success of the ‘doomfluence’ crowd. So as San Francisco shows signs of economic uncertainty, there are a number of publications that constantly write about the ‘doom loop,’ and then write other articles openly asking why San Francisco suddenly has such a bad reputation nationwide. 

Why would a legacy publication in San Francisco do such a thing? Clicks. You see, large scale, corporate newspapers basically subsist on subscriptions, ad revenue and donations. 

Subscriptions are in the toilet, and advertisers are only going to pay for ad space if people will see the ads, so how do they fill the delta left by dwindling readership? Sensationalism. If a store closes, or some other shit that would give a disaster tourist a boner happens, they write multiple articles about it and even sponsor the posts on social media sites like Facebook in an attempt to increase the reach. 

The invisible hand of capitalism is forcing newspapers to be redundant, unoriginal, and honestly boring. 

I’m gonna be honest. I don’t care about Whole Foods leaving. There’s still like 7 other locations in the city where Amazon can rob yuppies. Breathe. 

The third and arguably most insidious form of ‘doomfluence’ comes from the political donor crowd. 

These are people or organizations that pay significant sums of money to promote the idea that San Francisco is a lawless dystopian nightmare so policies are pursued that benefit their interests. What are their interests you ask? Mostly business shit. The services San Francisco provides come from taxes. Cut the services, and their taxes go down. There are ideological reasons too. A lot of people in San Francisco would love to see the entirety of the homeless population in a cage. These groups were pivotal in getting Chesa Boudin recalled. 

I’ve even received messages where people I find to be heinous tell me I’m one of their influences. Not sure how I feel about that. 

There’s also a part of me that feels partially responsible for the rise of ‘doomfluencers.’ I’ve grown a large audience being critical of the Bay Area. I’ve made jokes about people pooping outside, cars getting broken into and general dystopia on the streets of San Francisco. Some of this content went extremely viral and reached millions of people. 

I’ve even received messages where people I find to be heinous tell me I’m one of their influences. Not sure how I feel about that. 

I want things to get better in San Francisco and I use humor as a way to convey that message. I don’t want SF to turn into a police state. What I want is for the city to provide services to people in need and get them off the street. I want San Francisco to go further to the left, but not the left you’re envisioning. I’m not saying let everyone do drugs until they die. I want San Francisco to build housing and provide services so that people on the street can get the services they need, or at the very least deal with the pain of addiction in privacy. 

I’m okay with mean jokes. I’m not here trying to gentrify human expression. But there’s a difference between making a joke and trying to get views shoving a camera in someone’s face while they’re homeless and dope sick.

San Francisco doesn’t need influencers. It needs help.

And you’re not helping.

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