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Night Markets Are Coming To San Francisco And Why SF Is Rebounding

Updated: Jul 19, 2023 07:45
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I’ve always felt that San Francisco didn’t have enough nighttime amenities. I’m not just referring to bars and clubs; I’m talking about other shit like late night eateries, and interesting shops for people to peruse. 

Thankfully it appears that politicians like Matt Haney felt the same way, as he recently introduced and passed legislation that will allow for night markets, which essentially function like a farmers’ market would, but with games and other attractions to operate in San Francisco, the first of which will be in the Sunset District.

This is a great example of post-pandemic reinvention. While everyone is hyper-focused on the ‘Doom Loop’ narrative, people are missing the point that San Francisco wasn’t a fucking bed of roses during the tech boom. Do you guys forget that people were getting displaced and the rate of homelessness exploded during that time? The hollowing out of Downtown allows for the City to reassess its goals and focus on ways to improve San Francisco at a community level. Guys like Matt Haney have been on the forefront of this. 

But the idea didn’t emerge out of thin air. Night markets in San Francisco have already been established by POC-led organizations like Undiscovered SF in SoMa and the Bhangra and Beats night markets in FiDi. Matt Haney and others are simply taking these proven ideas and removing legislative barriers.

He also introduced legislation to convert San Francisco’s newly empty office towers into housing. This is a great idea that could easily flip the housing crisis on its head. I don’t really think NIMBYs could complain about this since no one really wants to go Downtown anyway and there’s no backyards on Market Street to begin with. 

“ACTUALLY ABE, IF YOU GO TO THE TOP OF MARKET STREET, THERE ARE BACKYARDS!” 

Shut up. I’m talking about Downtown, you pedantic fuck. 

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Here’s the thing: San Francisco isn’t doomed. I’m actually more optimistic about the future of the City and the greater Bay Area than I have ever been. Yes, things are a bit rough, and yes, you have a ton a opportunistic assholes circling the wagon to get a few clicks out of the city’s not-so-pending demise. 

My question to the naysayers is have you been to the rest of the country? I haven’t, but I’ve been to a few parts and let me tell you, America sucks. San Francisco is the crown jewel of a shit sandwich. We’re all lucky to be here. The middle of the country is a fucking endless farm with gas stations. The East Coast has New York, which is fine, but our weather and natural beauty shits all over theirs. The South is… I’m not even going to make fun of them because it’s punching down and that wouldn’t be woke, now would it? Portland is a fake Oakland filled with aspiring Hot Topic employees and not enough Hot Topics to employ them and Seattle is a fake San Francisco filled with Starbucks and Windows PCs. 

See, we can attack the rest of the country like they attack us. We’re just too busy sniffing our own farts as we looking at beautiful vistas while the crunch of broken glass from bipped cars serenades us as we make our way back to our cars that we don’t need because we kind of have public transportation unlike you climate destroying fucks. 

See, we can also make fun of ourselves. This can be fun.

Anyway, I’m excited about Night Markets and I think they’re going to be swell.

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Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff is an Oakland-based writer, editor and digital content creator known for Bay Area Memes, a local meme page that has amassed nearly 200k followers. His work has appeared in SFGATE, The Bold Italic and of course, BrokeAssStuart.com. His book of short stories, personal essays and poetry entitled Don't Drown on Dry Ground is available now!