Emily Crichton - Two Buck Chick

04 Mar 2013

Drink Like a Baller, Spend Like a Broke-Ass

Ugh, rich people. They’re always making us regular Joes feel so goddamn… poor. They drive around in their fancy-schmancy white stretch limos, eating caviar and endangered, baby mammals with their pinky sticking out, all while perpetually drowning in a sea of diamonds and mink stoles (paws still attached, of course).

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14 Feb 2013

How To Get More Bang (wink wink) For Your bottle

So, it’s Valentine’s week (Yes, it’s an entire week now. Sorry.) and I don’t care if you’re fully ball-n-chained or single and swinging that thang all over the city, one thing V-day evokes in every last warm-blooded human being is the desire to get… some. You know what I’m talking

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02 Dec 2024

The 90s Are Back! We Have Color Changing Shirts!

As 2024 winds down, we’re reflecting on another incredible year of sharing the stories, art, culture, and nightlife that make the Bay Area so unique. BrokeAssStuart.com wouldn’t be what it is without you—our community of readers, supporters, and believers in independent media. This year, instead of asking you to join Patreon

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10 Jan 2013

Arguably The Only Beer You’ll Ever Need

  Howdy, brokesters… apologies for the lack of TBC musings as of late. Happy new year and shit. If you follow me on Twitter/are stalking me in real life, you know that I spent the holiday season getting blotto in my beloved home state of Wisconsin. Yes, America’s darling Dairyland.

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07 Dec 2012

Holiday Gifts That Keep Them Boozing

With the holiday season under way, gift-giving anxiety is at an all-time high. So many presents, so little time… er, and disposable income. Well, that’s all about to change RIGHT NOW because I’ve got some gift ideas that will make your loved ones swoon like a 12-year-old girl at a

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19 Nov 2012

Giving Thanks for Cheap Wine (and Other Important Stuff)

It’s good to be young, broke, and beautiful Dear Two Buck Chick, I’m going to Thanksgiving dinner at (insert friend/family member)’s house and I need to bring some wine. WTF should I bring? P.S. I’m broke. You came to the right column, my (completely fictitious) friend! So you ain’t got

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05 Nov 2012

What to Drink When Shit Hits the Fan

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past week (or what’s more likely, an overturned bus) you’ve probably noticed that our country is a little en fuego. Between that mega-bitch named Sandy and the SF Giants winning the World Series, it’s a bona fide shit show out there. No

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26 Oct 2012

Halloween Wine for the (Love-)Haters

The sentiment known as “love/hate” is one of the most ubiquitous yet enigmatic phenomenons in the human experience. I am certainly no stranger to its insidious, backhanded ways. Raw onions, ex-lovers, the mélange of scents permeating the city on a hot day, Peter Gabriel… you get the idea. For broke-ass

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18 Oct 2012

Merlot That’s Cheap And Not Vomit-Flavored

The other day I was thinking about a wine question that my dear friend, Ilene, emailed me a few years ago. I tried to dig it up out of the Gmail abyss so I could share it in raw form, but all I came up with was a copy of

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