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The Perks of Being Unemployed

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To the ones who have had some trouble holding down a job, or the ones who have had extreme difficulty actually landing a job to hold down, or the ones who simply just cannot work, here’s some good news. There are actually perks to being an unemployed citizen; a person has to discover the secrets to being at least satisfied with not working a pain in the buns job for five days a week.

You do not have to wake up at the crack of dawn (6am and for some 5am) to get ready. It’s second nature for some folks but to others (like myself), I find waking up at these times unorthodox and abnormal. AND you get to turn your phone off and make love to your pillow all day long. Sleep deprivation is unhealthy people!

If you don’t feel like leaving your house, you don’t have to! Working people have no choice and unfortunately they cannot just pick up the phone and say, “Sorry boss, well you know, I’m just not feeling up to it today.” That is unless of course you are not afraid of losing your job because you hate it that much, or you just have some serious balls. But usually when that happens, people tend to get fired, just a friendly warning.

It gives you time to focus on your life’s passion. Let’s be honest: Almost half, if not more, of the world’s population is unhappy with their jobs or their jobs have absolutely NOTHING to do with what they went to school for or seek to pursue in life. Having time off from work (and I’m not talking about a few weeks here) can give a person time to reflect on his/her interests and discover his/her life’s calling. This could be discovering something completely new about yourself, or simply realizing all over again that your passion has been making ducks out of wood and now you would like to turn it into a business. Whatever. Just…Go for it. Why not?

Unemployment Benefits! For those who are qualified for unemployment benefits (that is you’ve been fired, you had a seasonal job which ended, etc.), take advantage of it! And DO NOT be like yours truly who waited months after the seasonal position ended to claim benefits! When you think about it, you’re getting paid for sleeping all day, though you really should be out there searching for your next job. So I mean, enjoy the benefits BUT do not become too lazy!

You now have absolutely no excuses about why you have not achieved that goal body yet, because you have all the time in the world! Since you do not have to wake up everyday to fulfill a certain duty and your schedule is pretty much flexible all day long, you have some time to (well, not hit up the gym since you cannot afford a membership) hit the streets, find a comfy running trail or hit up a nearby park and run/jog for your life for an hour or two. Then once you land that job, you can be as lazy as you want because, well, you’re already a sex doll. Flaunt it!

So here’s to being unemployed, folks! It’s not SO bad now is it? Just make sure you keep yourself busy everyday doing something productive and the depression shouldn’t hit as hard. And if you do get depressed, think of the perks again! Should keep you smiling for a minute or two, at least a few seconds.


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Joanne Rae - Coinless Wanderer

Joanne Rae - Coinless Wanderer

She loves: Ginger Ale, Blue Moon, pita chips w/ yogurt, pecan pie, Pralines N' Cream ice cream, Rum Raisin ice cream, salted cashews, PB&J sandwiches, avocados, garlic, and tuna.
She loves: Scary movies, really really funny movies, House & Trance music, Meryl Streep, Ben Stiller, sunny days, 85 degree weather, redheads, Netflix, steamy showers, foreign countries, and cute tiny doggies.

She hates: Onions, asparagus, cucumbers, seltzer water, licorice, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip anything, chocolate ice cream, and walnuts.
She hates: Insects, rain, Kerry Washington, Hummers, talking on the phone for hours, Long Island, buses, winter, waking up early, cats, when babies screech really loudly, when people talk really loudly, and puke.

Et Voila lala...