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Explosive Leaked Emails Reveal Stephen Miller is Bald

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While it has already been reported that in the run-up to the 2016 election, leaked emails indicate that Stephen Miller promoted white nationalist literature, boosted racist immigration stories, and obsessed over the loss of confederate symbols – further investigation has revealed an ACTUALLY surprising detail about the White House Senior Policy Advisor. 

In a devastating revelation, over 900 emails Miller sent to Breitbart between March of 2015 and June of 2016 paint a picture of a man who harbors dangerously xenophobic ideas in a smooth, practically gleaming head. 

“We had no idea who Stephen Miller really was until this leak,” said an investigator at the Southern Poverty Law Center. “While Miller’s violent racism has been obvious from the second he stepped into public awareness, these emails are damning evidence of something the public has only suspected until now: most of the White House Official’s hair has fallen out.”

Miller, who is apparently bald

Sifting through hundreds of emails which unsurprisingly included white nationalist websites, a “white genocide” novel in which Indian men rape white women, xenophobic conspiracy theories, and eugenics-era immigration laws, eagle-eyed investigators were able to notice a deeper pattern that blows the truth about Miller’s receding hairline wide open. 

“Once we were able to get through all the bald-faced racism we’ve come to expect from Miller,” the investigator went on, “We were able to discover a bald-headed truth.”

white nationalist novel shared by obviously racist and evidently bald Miller

Katie McHugh, a former editor for Breitbart, leaked Miller’s candid emails for analysis and dissemination to the public. In October of 2015, an email exchange between McHugh and Miller shows that the current White House official shared a story from the white nationalist site VDARE known for trafficking in the “great replacement” immigrant myth. This is not news. 

What is news is where Miller revealed the hair loss Americans had only suspected of him until this leak:

 

McHugh, Oct. 23, 2015, 6:10 p.m. ET: “This being the worst hurricane ever recorded, what are the chances it wreaks destruction on Mexico and drives a mass migration to the U.S. border?”

 

Miller, Oct. 23, 2015, 6:12 p.m. ET: “100 percent. And they will all get TPS. And all the ones here will get TPS too. That needs to be the weekend’s BIG story. TPS is everything.”

 

McHugh, Oct. 23, 2015, 6:22 p.m. ET: “Wow. Ok. Is there precedent for this?”

 

Miller, Oct. 23, 2015, 6:31 p.m. ET: https://www.bosley.com/

 

McHugh, Oct. 23, 2015, 6:35 p.m. ET: “Not sure what to make of this? Isn’t Bosley that hair restoration place that runs infomercials at like 4AM? Does this have something to do with the immigrants?”

 

Miller, Oct. 23, 2015, 6:37 p.m. ET:  “LOL sorry wrong link. Not sure how that happened. I think my hair may have fallen in front of my eyes while I was copy/pasting. I’ve tied it up into a loose, masculine bun now. Here’s the link on white genocide I meant to send: [VDARE link]

 

Based on discredited race science, the article Miller intended to share is what anyone who has ever paid attention to him for even a few seconds would have immediately expected. However, with a simple copy-paste error, the openly xenophobic man who currently holds a position of very real power in our government revealed the surprising truth about his scalp.

“There’s no way he can deny it now,” the SPLC investigator said in a statement to the press. “Known racist Stephen Miller… is an Uncle Fester lookin-ass cueball.”

More as this story develops. 

 

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Max Bruno

Max Bruno

Editor, writer, comedian. My Myers-Briggs type is BDSM-SJW.

1 Comment

  1. Jibber Jabber
    April 20, 2020 at 7:22 am — Reply

    The government is racist? OMG. What are we gonna do? Meanwhile, the Natives want their lands back. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind having some representation at the WHITE house. Lol, why is it the white house? Is there a different colored house for non-white folks? So many questions… So little time.

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