Shen Yun To Turn 10 Iconic Bay Area Landmarks into Giant Billboards
April 1, 2024 – San Francisco is about to get a green makeover on many of its most iconic and historical landmarks. The theater company Shen Yun has bought out the facades and air rights on several San Francisco bridges, buildings, and even on some of its most popular residents.
“Billboards are so 2019,” said Shen Yun spokesman Steve Admen, “We saw an opportunity to spread the word of Shen Yun in meaningful and sustainable ways and in places cherished by the entire world. And since we have an unlimited advertising budget, we figured ‘let’s take it up a notch in 2024’.”
The campaign on dozens of SF Landmarks is scheduled to begin April 1st 2024.
Steve Admen continued, “When I presented the mock-ups of our iconic banners hanging on the Bay Bridge and Grace Cathedral to Mr. Yun, he simply said, “more”.
I asked, “More what, sir?”
And he just replied, “More Shen Yun.”
Steve Admen told reporters Monday morning that he struggled to come up with ideas to make the campaign even bigger. “I already bought out the Bay Lights, the Bay Bridge, The Oakland Tribune Tower, SAP Center, the Almaden Quicksilver Mining Museum, the Salesforce tower screen, and Grace Cathedral,” he said, “what else is there”?
So the team dug deeper and that’s when they came up with the idea of spray painting animals in the SF Zoo. “At first Mr. Yun only wanted tigers to represent Shen Yun, but after several interns were nearly eaten, we moved on to the more docile creatures.” he said.
The ad team has signed an Elephant and a Zebra to be Shen Yun Spokes-animals via the San Francisco Zoo.
“So that’s pretty cool,” Said Spokesman Steve Admen, who insisted we mention they used non-toxic, animal paint for the ‘animal models’. “The animals are really excited,” Admen explained “Excited to be part of the team, and especially excited to see Shen Yun, I mean, who doesn’t want to witness the majesty of ‘China before Communism’?”
Reporter Katy Atchison then asked Admen, “Aren’t you worried about the inevitable controversy? I mean, that Zebra clearly doesn’t know anything about Chinese ballet or even what a contract is.”
Admen snapped back, “That’s insulting, how dare you speak for that Zebra, he is a member of our team, and he loves the ancient stories that spring to life through classical Chinese dance, enchanting music, brilliant costumes, and breathtaking backdrops.” And with that, Admen ended the interview.
“No more questions,” Admen said, “If anyone accept Katy would like to interview our Spokes-elephant, lineup on the right, and don’t make any sudden movements.”
“Get ready to see Shen Yun Everywhere!”
This article is satire and does not reflect facts or any real reporting, on account of it being APRIL FOOLS DAY!
The photoshop was done by none other than Katy Atchison, the satire was written by Alex Mak.
Howdy! My name is Katy Atchison and I'm an Associate Editor for Broke-Ass Stuart.
I want to take the time to say thank you for supporting independent news media by reading BrokeAssstuart.com. Supporting independent news sources like Broke-Ass Stuart is vital to supporting our community because it amplifies the voices of a wide variety of diverse opinions. You also help support small businesses and local artists by sharing stories from Broke-Ass Stuart.
Because you're one of our supporters, I wanted to send over a pro-tip.
Our bi-weekly newsletter is a great way to get round ups of Broke-Ass Stuart stories, learn about new businesses in The Bay Area, find out about fun local events and be first in line for giveaways.
If you’d like to get our newsletter, signup right here, it takes 5 seconds.
You Might Also Like
