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What Your BottleRock 2022 Trucker Hat Says About You

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BottleRock Music Festival 2022 in Napa, a sold out event, launched again last weekend without COVID complications. Some might say it was on par with previous years. What does that mean? Mom’s were drinking wine and dads were popping cans.

One thing I always notice when visiting Napa is that they have a fashion style that’s all their own. Although they’re located a mere 50 miles from San Francisco … the dress code is drastically different. The easiest place to see the difference is with the fashion choices of the men. As a dude I’ve noticed we both wear shirts and shorts when it’s hot. However, in Napa shirt sleeves are optional and trucker hats are mandatory.

The question that instantly hit me was, “how do you decide which of your trucker hats to wear and in what way is your hat an extension of your personality?” The following article is an attempt to clarify what your trucker hats says to me, a music fan standing behind you while Pitbull sings, Give Me Everything.

I 🖤 TITTIES AND BEER vs. I 🖤 MILFS TRUCKER HAT
These two trucker hats tie for my most favorite slogans spotted while at BottleRock Music Festival 2022. I legit can’t pick my favorite! Personally I’m allergic to beer … but everything else is 100% positive vibes from my point of view! Certainly they both came to see PINK!

BUNZ TRUCKER HAT
More than anything … this hat leaves me with more questions than answers! Who made your hat? Is it custom? Does anybody else have a BUNZ hat? Is this the answer to the age old question, “are you a boobs or butt guy?!” Please … if you’re reading this … let me know!

HETAL METAL TRUCKER HAT
This hat clarifies that I came to see Metallica … but the music you like is ok too. I mean, it’s not as good as Metallica! Also, if I had to pick my second favorite band it would probably be Black Sabbath but your band (Blu DeTiger) is playing now so I’ll watch them. but if you’re asking me, I’d rather be at an Iron Maiden show.

 

NO QUARTER PIRATE HAT
To give No Quarter means to show no mercy, to award no clemency. This guy will steal your Jam Cellars Butter Chardonnay … and your girl! Do not take your eye off him. He probably stole your lunch money in high school and your backpack filled with CDs by all the members of Mount Westmore. (California-based rappers Snoop Dogg, E-40, Too Short, and Ice Cube.)

 

RHINESTONE COWBOY HAT
Dude to his lady friends, “I am always down for a good time. Do not leave me out of this group activity! Whose buying? I’ll Venmo you for mine. Also, I’m so excited for Alessia Cara, I’ve watched Moana 5 times!

 

BEER VISER
I am at a wine festival with dudes in trucker hats … but I am different. I want you to know that I prefer beer over wine and I think I look better in plastic visors over traditional trucker hats. Also, do you want to play Texas Hold’em after Grandson gets done performing?

 

BOTTLEROCK HAT
I forgot my Trucker hat … your merch booth had hats … so I bought one!

 

EMA (Emergency Management Agency) TRUCKER HAT
I’m here to see Twenty One Pilots, but one of you jerks is going to drink too much, do too many drugs, or do something stupid. You’re going to need my help so I’m wearing this hat so your friends can find me quickly. Also, I have other cool hats at home.

 

Also, there were great sets by Metallica, P!Nk, Twenty One Pilots, Luke Combs, The Black Crowes, Kygo, Pitbull, Greta Van Fleet, Mount Westmore, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Chvrches, Spoon, Banks, Alessia Cara, Saint Jhn, Vance Joy, Michael Franti & Spearhead, Silversun Pickups, The Wailers Ft. Julian Marley, Iration, Greensky Bluegrass, Grandson, Amos Lee, Tai Verdes, The Brothers Comatose, Mama Said, Jaleh, Kosha Dillz, and MORE … if you’re into that sort of thing!

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Stefan Aronsen

Stefan Aronsen

I am the co-founder of Balanced Breakfast, a meetup for music industry professionals. No, I do not sing or play any instruments ... but I have tried! My passion for music began at 7 when my parents bought me a drum set. I was BAD at drums. So I moved on, joined the school band, and played clarinet. I was BAD at the clarinet. Trying and failing at instruments continued through elementary school and into college. It turns out that while I could recognize good music; I lacked the skill to make it.

Now I'm broke, beautiful, and writing about music for Stuart...

1 Comment

  1. June 5, 2022 at 10:47 am — Reply

    Titties and Beer might be an obscure reference to Frank Zappa. Perhaps the wearer is more of a music aficionado than you think.

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